


Confirmation Bias

by strifechaos



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternative Universe - Baby Sitter, Baby Sitter!Buck, Bartender!Buck, Buck and Chris being adorable beans, Ex's Verbal Fight, F/M, Firefighter!Eddie, How is Eddie suppose to resist, M/M, Past Shannon/Eddie, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24956329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strifechaos/pseuds/strifechaos
Summary: After the fallout with his ex-wife, Eddie believed he could only trust his family with his son. He hadn’t imagined falling for his son’s sweet-hearted nanny, Buck.With his own family so distant, Buck never considered that he’d be lucky enough to find a home for himself, let alone people he could count on. Not until he meets the Diaz boys.AU: Buck was never a firefighter, and becomes Christopher's sitter when Shannon's job takes her away from Eddie and Chris for the summer. Eddie tries to not fall for his son's nanny, he's not very successful.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 27
Kudos: 435
Collections: Buddie Big Bang 2020





	Confirmation Bias

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the Buddie Big Bang Challenge.
> 
> I don't own 9-1-1 (tv), this is just for fun. 
> 
> Thank you so SO much to kris for the insanely beautiful fanart! The pieces are just AMAZING and I can't thank them enough for bringing those scenes to life!

“Come on, Shannon, that’s not fair.” Eddie’s teeth have clenched so hard that his jaw aches from it, the fights between him and his ex-wife had flared up so often it was a wonder he hadn’t ground his molars flat. 

This argument hadn’t been just a nasty surprise, but a particularly poorly timed one, Shannon had finally informed him of her business trip, the third one this month.

“Listen Eddie, I know you were being overly cautious when I first showed up after so long, but I’m here! I’m here! For Christopher and for you! I’m not going anywhere—“

“You just said you were leaving!” Eddie’s throat ached, he breathed harshly, arms folded harshly against his chest. He tried to steady his temper, to try and talk this through calmly with Shannon; he doesn’t want to be controlled by his anger, for this to be just another fight between them. 

In the past, he’d tried to compartmentalize that angry part of his life away from his family. To keep them safe and happy but after his son hadn’t wanted to talk to him about his nightmares, it had been a slap in the face that Eddie needed help. His captain had been a listening ear when Eddie had felt conflicted about his rising anger, and had been able to recommend a therapist through the fire department, and Eddie had found an outlet when his emotions were getting too overwhelming. Only Shannon seemed to be hell-bent on pushing every single button he had.

In the moment his mind was aflame, how could his ex-wife not see how unfair this was to Chris? How it went against everything she’d promised not to do when she’d finally come back to their lives? 

Unaware of the fire brewing, Shannon rolled her eyes at his tone and she threw her arms up in disgust. “For – for a few weeks, Eddie. I’ll be back!” 

As if the amount of time she’d be gone after only having just returned would wave a magic wand and allow Chris to understand why his recently returned mom was leaving him, again.

“At most a couple months,” she added shakily, shrugging it off as if it was no big deal. 

What Shannon wasn’t remembering as she tried to play of her trip was that Eddie has known her for most of his life, he sees the way she’s trying to hedge her bets, he can see the her nervous ticks: biting her lip, fidgeting in place. 

Now his back molars were grinding together and Eddie forced himself to count back from fifty in Spanish to cool the fever building between them, and just managed to hold in the explosion that was just begging to erupt.

The knife went both ways with them though, Shannon was just as aware of Eddie’s temper. 

“Eddie, you know how long I’ve been trying to break into the industry, this isn’t something you just roll into, and this is my chance! I can’t believe you won’t support me about this trip! After all the hours I’ve put in, all the events with Chris that I’ve had to miss --I finally have a chance to prove that I’m promotion material.”

That she’s not once mentioned how her missing an entire summer will impact Christopher is what shreds the tethers Eddie has held his temper back with up. “Shannon, how do you not see that it’s not about me supporting you; it’s about you supporting our son! When you came back into his life, you made a promise to be there for him. You promised our little boy.”

“Are you saying you love Chris more than me? That’s NOT true, Eddie! I love my son. I . . . I may not always have been there for Christopher but that’s a rich argument coming from you!”

And like a valve had been shut, Eddie finally manages to shunt his rage to the side. Shame of his own abandonment, signing up for a second tour when he knew Shannon and Chris needed him, shrouds his mind. Her targeted words snuff out the flame of his anger; he’s always hated fighting with Shannon over who ran away first and who loves Chris more, like it was some sick sort of competition. 

Eddie felt like Shannon never understood that he’d gone to war to support his family not because it was something he wanted to do but because it was the only thing he could think to do. The paycheck wasn’t much, but a second tour would include a better bonus and combined with his medical benefits – it would provide more options for Christopher than Shannon’s own part-time gig could offer. It had been a no brainer to him, and it was a slap in the face when Shannon had been upset that he hadn’t talked it over with her.

He’s sick and tired of their circular arguments over him running away by signing up for another tour and then everyone condemning her running away once it’d been too much for her after he’d come home. It was ground they’ve covered so many times that he adamantly refuses to go over it again. Not again.

“Fine, just . . . we’ll explain it to him, together.” 

Shannon nodded, fidgeting with one of Chris’s toys.

“Have you considered how we are meant to find someone to watch Chris during my shifts?” 

She bit her lip harder, bleeding the color from it, refusing to meet his gaze.

“This isn’t Texas, as you so love to remind me-- my sisters aren’t down the street, my parents can’t just drop in to help out. Who is going to watch our son while I’m working and you’re out of town, again? I don’t remember you mentioning that to me.”

Shannon shook her head so forcefully that her hair swung across her shoulders. She flicked a hand out dismissively, as if she were swatting a fly away. “Carla, she loves spending time with Chris!”

Eddie lets out an ugly snort. His chest burns with fury and it’s out before he can stop it.

“Unbelievable.”

He stood up and paced in a tight circle, shaking his head, keeping his arms folded roughly against his chest.

“She’s on a cruise with her husband, or did you forget that?”

Like her strings had been cut, Shannon slumped down on the chair next to her closet.

“Oh, right.” Shannon swallowed heavily, finally a shade of guilt dimming her features. She wrung her hands together; cursing herself for having forgotten the big production Christopher and Eddie had insisted on for the nanny, an entire night devoted to a ‘Bon Voyage” goodbye party before Carla and her husband departed. 

They’d only just gotten Christopher to let them take down the banners and streamers.

“This is something you’d have remembered if you spared enough time to talk with the woman who watches our son,” Eddie grit out between clenched teeth.

At first he hadn’t been sure but after a few run-ins he’d realized it wasn’t just his imagination, the stifled conversations and avid relief either woman showed when he entered a room when it had just been the two of them had been the key. Without an intermediary, the two just didn’t get along, despite Carla’s insistence that a boy needed his mama, the two loved Chris but couldn’t manage to get along.

Shannon’s distrust of the bubbly nurse wasn’t as clear cut to him, not until Hen had pointed out that she probably just didn’t like another woman stepping up in such a big way in Chris and Eddie’s lives. Stepping into what Shannon considered her shoes, her position, even if she’d abandoned it for years.

Knowing they didn’t interact unless absolutely forced to, it shouldn’t shock him that Shannon would just assume the other woman would be there to fill in; the single mindedness is what had first drawn him to her in school but lately it had been abundantly clear that it stemmed from a certain selfishness that had only gotten stronger in their time away from one another.

“Listen, Eddie, I don’t have everything figured out, ok? Is that what you want to hear? I’m not perfect! I didn’t know my boss was going to invite me on this trip, but if I work hard then I won’t have to do these trips anymore! Smith has control over how fast the new employee is trained to do these trips instead of me, and if he’s impressed by my work this summer he won’t want me wasted on holding client’s hands.” 

She reached out to rest a light hand on his arm. He tensed at first but didn’t pull his arm away from her touch. There was a time when it was the only thing he wanted in the world, now he had to force himself not to move away from her touch.

“Doesn’t that sound like something that would be worth spending a summer achieving?”

Eddie huffed at her ham-handed attempt at manipulation; breaking away from her touch he restarted pacing the room. He took a deep breath, lungs expanding fully before slowly letting it out.

When he had enough distance to give him a chance to settle his warring thoughts, to find some semblance of peace before he turns back toward her and admits what he’d been trying to ignore for the past ten years. “I’m not saying I know either, Shannon.”

It’s hard to admit it but he does, spelling it out for her. “I don’t know, either.”

He sits on the edge of her chair, defeated, hands clasped together. “I just hate seeing Chris devastated by your constant absences. Don’t you?”

She jerked back like he’d slapped her.

“Don’t I? Are you really asking me if I HATE leaving our son? Because that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say!” Shannon furiously stomped up to Eddie and jabbed him with a pointed finger. “Of course I hate being away; I’m not a fucking monster, Eddie. Christ!”

Arms thrown wide and a mutinous expression twisting her normally beautiful features into something dark and angry, she explodes. “I know you love to paint me as the bad guy, as if I can’t stand to spend time with Christopher and am constantly scheming for ways to get out of the house but you have to know, to admit that ... that it’s just not true.” Her anger fizzled at the end, voice cracking. 

Eddie had forgotten, partially from separation and mostly due to the fuzzy cloud of easily waved off arguments they’d more recently been settling with heated rounds of make-up sex, but right now was a sharp reminder that Shannon didn’t get hysterical like his sisters when she was furious. 

No, Shannon got cold and calculated and quiet before she rammed through any obstacle in her way like a freight train. 

He just hadn’t realized he’d been on the tracks.

“I would rather spend all day with our son, Christopher is one of the only good things I have in my life but adults know that just because you want something doesn’t guarantee you’ll don’t get it. That’s just not how the real world works, Eddie.” She scoffed and shook her head, hair flying around her shoulders but she didn’t move to push it back or out of her face this time. 

“My dream job isn’t going to just land in my lap because I wish I could spend the summer hanging out with my son.” 

As she finished speaking she looked away, as if she couldn’t bear to have him in her sight. 

“The only way I’ll get this done is through sacrifice and damn hard work.”

Eddie didn’t hear the snap of the tripwire in his mind but one second he was listening to Shannon and the next it felt like she’d jammed her finger into the anger center of his brain. His heart sped up and his breath felt short.

“What you’re leaving out of that equation for your dream job, Shannon, is that it’s not just YOU making the sacrifices for your dream job. On your way road of sacrifice and damn hard work for that job you can’t live without, it’s Christopher and it’s me that you’re deciding are going to be making sacrifices for it too.”

Shannon scowled harder, face pinched and furious. “That’s not fair. You know that’s not fair.”

Eddie felt like they were on the edge of saying something they wouldn’t be able to come back from, so he forced himself to take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds and slowly exhale before replying in a tight, chopped voice, his anger making his words quaver. 

“Fine, it’s fine!” 

It was the last thing from fine.

He took another breath and forced his shoulders to relax, his back screaming from the tension mounting from their fight. “Just let’s go to the park today like we planned and break the news to him when we get back.”

Shannon frowned and looked away. She walked toward her closet with a guilty expression finally pulling at her features. “I . . . I can’t.”

“What?” Eddie could barely bite out the word, anger pooling back into his gut like a riptide.

“I want to, Eddie, I do. It’s just I have to leave early this evening, if I go with you I won’t have time to pack.”

At his furious glare she initially shrunk back before recovering her poise. “But I’ll be the one to break the news to him, I’m not pinning that on you.”

“Great.” He grunted, storming from the room, drastically in need of as much distance between them as possible, even if this would be the last day they’d see each other for weeks, possibly longer.

“Just great, Shannon.”

-0-0-0-

It was anything but great.

Chris was inconsolable after she broke the news to him. Eddie was furious she decided by herself to tell him before they’d gone to the park and while Eddie was on the phone with Hen finalizing the play date for the kids.

Eddie tried to cheer Chris up with making Mickey Mouse pancakes but their normally happy kid barely ate. Even as Eddie and Chris reached the park to meet up with Hen and Denny, Chris still wasn’t his smiling self.

Eddie sat with Hen at the bench, both parents watching as Denny flung him body off the swing in a daring arc in an attempt to cheer up his friend. He landed with a jolting stumble but turned around and bowed at the blond. Chris cracked a weak smile and applauded and gave a subdued cheer but it was a short lived reprieve.

Denny wasn’t deterred in the least. He wiggled back up on his swing next to Chris, ready to repeat the performance all over again.

“I just don’t get how she can do this to him. Again!” Eddie fumed. His arms crossed tightly over his chest as he vented.

“Do this to him or do this to you?” Hen asked with a raised eyebrow, giving him a pointed look before turning back towards the kids. “Denny, not so high!”

Eddie gaped at her, head jerking away from the kids to give her an incredulous look. “To me? She’s not doing this to me. It’s not me that’s going to be missing her.”

Hen scoffed at him, gave him a disbelieving look, clearly not buying it.

“Eddie, you and Chris are a package deal, if something is happening to one of you then it’s happening to both of you. And maybe the fact that you don’t miss her on these trips is part of the problem.” Hen said pointedly.

Eddie stewed silently for a few minutes. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed at the lack of support for his position, Hen was his friend after all but after running it through his mind for a few minutes, Eddie found that couldn’t fault her logic, as much as it pained him to admit it, even if only to himself.

He leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees, hands clasped together as he struggled to find the right words to get this angry feeling out of his chest.

“It just feels like I’m invested in Christopher. Nothing is more important to me than my son. I don’t get how that isn’t how Shannon operates too.”

Hen hummed in agreement.

“Yeah, I get that your kid is the most important aspect of your life. Karen and I love Denny more than anyone or anything else in the world.”

She didn’t him off the hook so easily though, “But it seems like the question you’re not asking yourself Eddie is how important is what your wife wants?”

“Ex-wife.”

Hen gave him a bald, unimpressed look, pursing her lips and looking down her nose through her sharp glasses at him. He bit his lip before answering her. “But Shannon . . . Shannon will always be important, she’s Chris’ mother.”

“Ok, that makes sense but that doesn’t answer my question, Eddie.”

“I . . . I don’t . . . I don’t know, we haven’t really been together since she left to take care of her mom. Since before Christopher came into our lives really. She’s important. I know that. It’s why I agreed to let her back into our lives here. I just assumed she would want what was best for Chris. That she meant it when she said she was here to stay this time.”

“Baby, you may want to reevaluate your partnership if that’s the best answer you can come up with.”

“Whaddya mean by that?” Eddie growled, his shoulders coming up around his ears.

Hen let out a gusty sigh, feeling it down to her boots. ‘Men’.

“You need to reconsider your perspective.” She gestured with her hands as she spoke.  
“That woman is a person in and of herself. She’s not just Chris’ mother. That can be an important aspect of her life, it may be her MOST important part of her life, but it is not the only thing that makes her who she is, Eddie.”

Hen bumped her shoulder against him to soften the blow her words were leaving behind.

She gave him a few minutes to swallow that before she continued, “She may not be knocking down doors and saving people for a living, but her work is important for her and it needs to be important to you too. If she’s going to be part of your son’s life, then you have to respect that what she’s doing right now is working toward making an effort to show that Christopher is her priority.”

Eddie tried to find the right phrase but as soon as he had a sentence it seemed to slip from his mind. “I’m not trying to say she shouldn’t pursue her work. It’s great that Shannon has a passion about her job but I don’t think that it should eclipse Chris’ needs.”

They were both quiet after that, silently monitoring the kids as they switched from the swings to the slides, Denny watching out for Chris as they climbed up the steps to the twisty slide.

Hen turned to look at Eddie, giving him her full focus, wanting to make sure that she was able to get her point across. She reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder to nonverbally convey her support of him as she spoke. “And is sounds like that’s what she’s trying to do, she’s just not at the point where her work will allow her to do just yet.”

Eddie shrugged powerlessly. He could feel his emotions writhing in his gut like a riled snake.

“I gave up being a soldier, and I don’t regret it.” He could never feel sorry for being able to spend more time with Christopher. His son made him a better man in ways that going to war never had. “I could never regret that. . . Chris is without a doubt the very best part of my entire life.”

Eddie felt a smile curl at the corner of his mouth from just thinking about his son, some of the tension leached from his shoulders. “My time in Afghanistan was important in shaping who I wanted to be as a man but it wasn’t until I was back here, back home with Chris, that I really understood what it means to be a father, to be a truly good man.”

Hen nodded, aware that for Eddie his service was integral to how he identified himself but that parenthood had a way of shaking your entire life by the ankles. “So you can see how these trips are an important step for Shannon?”

Eddie shook his head, running a hand across his mouth, leaning further back against the bench. “It’s why I can’t, Hen.”

Hen glance back at the kids as they happily slid down the slide, she smiled at how easy it was for kids to have a fun time.

She sent Eddie a brief, quelling look. “Well you’ve got all summer to work on that I suppose. What’s the plan in the meantime?”

“Shannon has a co-worker that used a service that he recommends.” Hen watched as Eddie bit his bottom lip, shrugging half-heartedly at the admittance, clearly he wasn’t as sold on the idea. “I left a voicemail with my abuela to see if she would be able to cover until we can setup a schedule for the sitter.”

-0-0-0-

“Buckley, you gotta help me out brother.”

Buck sighed, collapsing on top of the bar. He’d pulled a double shift, and it had been a doozy. The hint of desperation in his friend’s tone warned him that he wasn’t going to like whatever Kevin was about to ask from him.

“What are you scheming for now? I already told you I’d cover Donny’s schedule next Monday.”

“Buck, Buckle, Blondie Big Coc—“

“Kevin, the point sometime tonight— and you know I hate when you call me that!”

Kevin threw his hands up in fake surrender; Buck had known him since they’d both trained to be SEALs. While Buck had thrived under the physical demands on the training, Kevin had not, but both young men had bonded and when Kevin had heard Buck was looking for a job, he’d offered him a spot at his bar. 

Technically it was Kevin’s uncle’s bar but the older man had unofficially retired and left his nephew in charge for the most part. 

“How would you like to be part of a beautiful tradition between two people?”

Buck groaned. The other show had dropped and he could already feel the tension bleeding down his spine. “Kevin, you know I hate doing those gigs now. I don’t want to be your wingman for a bachelorette party.”

Kevin scowled at him. “Uh, since when have you hated doing bachelorette parties? I seem to recall you being a pretty big hit at them and scooping up tons of cash tips and you were no slouch when it came to numbers last time either! That blonde you picked up was smoking.”

Buck rolled his eyes at his friend, turning away to start breaking down the bar for the night. “Yeah, it’s great for the cash but . . . I don’t know man, it’s just not my scene anymore.” He shrugged, willing his friend to understand.

No such luck.

“Well make it be your scene, just this Saturday. I need another guy to serve drinks, and you owe me for covering for you last month so you could attend that fair.”

Buck frowned.

“That was an internship fair, for my degree and you said that bringing you coffee and a doughnut everyday for two weeks was payment enough for that,” Buck reminded him, scowling.

Kevin folded his arms across his chest, not willing to concede. “Well I changed my mind, be there Buckley, this weekend. I mean it.”

Buck groaned but nodded; sometimes being friends with the boss just didn’t pay off. “Fine, but this is the last one. I need to focus on my first day of said won internship at Declan, so don’t think you can keep pulling me for all-nighters with you and a bunch of rowdy bachelorette party attendees.”

Kevin smirked, slapping Buck on the back. “Thanks, you won’t regret it, Buckles!”

Buck rolled his eyes at the nickname.

-0-0-0-

Buck did regret it.

And sooner than he thought possible.

“Mister Buckley, I’m afraid that we’re not going to be able to extend one of the positions to you for our program this summer.”

Buck felt like he’d taken a hammer to the face. “I’m sorry --- what?”

“Yes, certain behaviors have been brought to our attention and I’m afraid to have to say that we don’t believe you’re Declan Studies material.”

Buck hadn’t been sure what to expect when he’d reported for his first day and been told to head to the Dean’s office. Being kicked out before he even started through hadn’t even been a thought in his mind. He’d thought after all his volunteer work and general size that he might have been slated for a bit of work with the harder to reach, rowdier students.

“You’ve got to be kiddin’ me. What could possibly have come to light? Is this a joke?” He asked, desperate for the straight laced man across from him to suddenly announce that it was a prank. Some sort of educational hazing. Anything.

The dean didn’t answer right away, just shuffled some paperwork around his desk and frowned. Buck felt as if the guy had his future all laid out in front of him and was about to start the autopsy.

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the morals clause in our program,” the man led, “and that if a prospective employee is unable to maintain a certain level of decorum they are expelled from our hire.”

“Yes, and I agree, I think it sends a strong message that poor behavior won’t be accepted here.” Buck nodded. He’d understood that he’d need to be a role model example for the students.

“Well, then! I’m glad to see you understand, Mister Buckley. You see why we won’t be able to have you on staff.”

Buck was poleaxed.

“Wait, what? Why not? I haven’t done anything questionable!” Buck denied, his face scrunched up in indignation, and his fists clenching until he could force them flat against his thighs.

The dean looked down his nose at Buck’s outburst but Buck refused to back down. It wasn’t fair. He’d been an internship away from finishing his program, and now the internship was being snatched away for something he hadn’t done.

The dean gave him a snide look, huffed and reached into his desk drawer, plucking out a folder before slapping it down on his desk, and shoving it toward Buck.

Buck gulped, suddenly nervous despite knowing he hadn’t down anything. He reached out to open the folder, his hand shaking somewhat from the build up and nerves, so much was riding on this after all. Maybe there had been some sort of colossal mistake and they could fix everything? Something easily explainable and then this would just be a horrible story to share with Maddie when he got home today.

Inside is a single piece of paper, a printout from a cellphone photo. The photo’s quality was crappy, the scene in it had low lighting and the people in the photo hadn’t been looking at the camera when it was taken but it’s easy to clearly distinguish what’s going on.

Even if it’d been hard to figure out, a lead weight settles in Buck’s stomach as he glances at it because he’d been there when the photo was taken. 

He knows what he’s looking at soon as he sees the picture and he knows he won’t be able to talk his way out of this trouble. 

-0-

After he’d escaped his parent’s home, Buck had been on the lookout for a good time, anywhere, anytime and with anyone he could find it. 

South America and then later California, had offered plenty of fun times for a young guy that was fit and charming. At first, Buck dove in and hadn’t come back up for air for years. Not until he’d stopped bartending in South America and return to the states to undergo SEAL training, it was the closest that he’d dabbled with being a responsible adult. 

Buck had loved the physical aspects of the training, pushing himself to the very edge of what he was capable of doing, finding a team to belong to, but he couldn’t quite manage to shut off his humanity or listen to direction from superiors. He’d made friends though; Kevin had even offered him a gig at his uncle’s bar.

After that it was too easy to fall back into the party scene, spending time with girls and guys looking for a fun night and chasing any adrenaline rush he came across. Skydiving, BASE jumping, rock climbing, windsurfing— anything that required physical mastery, a potential messy ending -- it set his heart pumping and he couldn’t get enough of it.

A no-strings attached lifestyle was great, except for the fact that no-strings meant when you fell there was no one there to pick you back up. It only took a few rough falls for the glamour to wear thin on that type of life and Buck started his search for another life, one that came with a support base. 

When he’d stumbled across Abby, she made him want to change, want to be there for her and in turn be there for himself. They’d tentatively started dating and she’d become his touchstone, giving him his first glimpse of what a committed adult relationship entailed.

. . . until she’d run away on her journey of self discovery.

Buck hadn’t dealt well with her abandonment of their relationship, her abandonment of their life together, her abandonment of him. It was his parents and Maddie all over again. 

He wasn’t sure what it was that was so broken about him that no one wanted to stick around, not even Abby. 

It hurt. Hurt in a way that Buck hadn’t realized he was capable of until that point.

He thought they shared a connection; that he had become a better person because of her but it turned out that she still didn’t think he wasn’t enough. After her mother’s death she just spread her wings and took off, never looking back. Buck had never been ghosted so hard before by someone he’d loved and he admittedly spiraled for a while because of it. Sometimes he felt like he was still spiraling.

It ended up with him backpedaling into a few hookups with a journalist who was no good for him. Taylor had been willing to take him for a ride, but it didn’t take long to realize that he just wasn’t that person anymore, he’d become Buck 2.0 and falling into Buck 1.0’s habits didn’t fit right. Like an uncomfortable mask from his youth.

Buck didn’t like who he was with Taylor.

After the progress he’d made on himself while he’d been with Abby, he wanted more out of a relationship, he wanted a connection with the person he slept with, he wanted a long term commitment. Something like what he had with Abby but with someone who wouldn’t split and leave him behind with no warning. 

Buck wanted a family. 

He wanted a house and kids and love. 

Taylor was the wakeup call he needed; she made him realize that he deserved to be loved. 

That Taylor just shrugged over his announcement made him even surer that he’d made the right decision.

When he’d started dating Ali he was sure his life was finally taking a turn. It wasn’t the growth he’d had with Abby, fresh and new and exciting but it also wasn’t the dangerous backslide Taylor had been. 

Only Ali liked Buck less as she got to know him better. 

They broke up because she wanted someone different, and if they stayed together she’d want Buck to be someone fundamentally different than who he was as a person. Their relationship resolved itself into a definite end when Ali jumped on a job opportunity on the other side of the country and Buck found out over a text message. 

Since then he’d decided to keep himself on lockdown, take care of his own damn needs and focused on what made him happy.

Buck loved helping people. He loved kids. And kids loved Buck back. Maddie teased him that it was because they shared the same mental plane, but when his side hustles had fallen through she suggested that he should find work as a nanny until he could find something more permanent.

Buck fell into it as easy as breathing. He’d had a few mishaps when he first started, parents that were more interested in eye candy than someone suitable for their kid’s situation, but he’d spoken with the other nannies, and found a good way to wean those families out. His most current job he’d been working with the Wilson family, watching over their son Denny and foster daughter Nia.

It was great, and Buck loved it but being a nanny didn’t come with a retirement plan, so even when he was able to pick up shifts at his friend’s bar, he kept looking for what else he could do.

He heard about a program for Childhood Education from a fellow bartender, after he’d helped break down her daughter’s “new” math homework. Buck had been hesitant to mention the program to Maddie, not sure she’d think it would be a good fit for him but after a couple weeks he broke and looked into it. He found out that it offered flexible courses, so he could still work with the Wilson’s family and complete the coursework -- he applied that night. 

He’d been on pins and needles until his application had been accepted; he’d been thrilled and finally told Maddie about it, about his dream to do something that let him help people, still unsure if she’d be supportive. Her three years of silence had been a lot to overcome; but she was the only family he had and when he shared the news she’d cried.

Maddie had clung to him, crying happy tears and insisted on taking him out for drinks to celebrate. 

Unlike when he’d been in high school and only did well in classes because of his parents, he studied because the classes were interesting and he actually found himself looking forward to the problems they worked through for assignments. Most of the coursework he was taking was online so he didn’t have to rearrange his schedule with the Wilsons or Kevin, but a few of his classes required on campus attendance. In lectures, he found himself being praised for his innovative solutions to problems.

That it also kept him busy enough that he could ignore that he wasn’t dating; despite Maddie wanting him to move on and find someone, he figured he had a functioning hand to take care of that. A little one-on-one time with Buck jr. kept him set on that account, not matter how much his big sister pestered.

Buck was doing something just for him but now it felt like it was falling through his fingers.

-0-

All and all, he’d felt like he’d turned his life around. He wasn’t that party animal any more.  
So having the Dean of his internship slapping down a folder of photos of Buck serving body shots was a kick in the nuts to all the years he’d spent building himself back up from Buck 1.0.

He wasn’t that kid anymore, he’d evolved beyond that, he’d made himself into someone that people could trust to watch their kids and not allow them to get a tattoo or piercing.

A blurry photo of a lady taking a body shot off of him was not how he wanted to start at his internship.

“I’m sure you understand why we can’t possibly support this type of behavior in our staff, Mister Buckley.”

“It was a bachelorette party, I was just there working as a bartender.” Buck tried to explain, in vain as it turned out.

That Dean looked skeptical and unmoved by Buck’s explanation. “That’s not what it looks like, and I’m afraid we won’t be able to continue your association with our school because of it.”

Buck could have been punched in the face and it wouldn’t have fazed him at this point. How could all his hard work go up in smoke over something he hadn’t even wanted to do?

“But that’s not - -“

“Do I need to call the police or security to escort you from the property?”

“NO!” Buck backpedalled; he leaped out of the chair, hands thrown out in front of him. 

If he had a record from an instance at this school then it would blow any chances of finding a job he had once he managed to get the degree. “No, sir.”

Buck swallowed the sick feeling that he was going to throw up and instead tired to remember that he needed to stay professional, even if he wanted to reach out and punch the smug asshole in front of him in the face with all the strength he had.

Instead, he reached out to shake the Dean’s hand and offered a polite goodbye. “I’m sorry that you feel that way sir, I’ll find my own way out.”

The man stared at Buck’s hand like he was dirty, something beneath him, and bluntly didn’t reach out to take it.

The rejection made Buck feel even smaller and more worthless, like he had when he’d lived back home in Pennsylvania. He pulled his hand back to his side, before giving a nod at the dean, turning and leaving his office.

He held back the ugly urge to punch the nearest wall or burst into tears at what he’d lost, by the tiniest of threads.

-0-0-0-

In a rush to not be any later than he already was, Eddie parked his truck in the first available space he spotted when he pulled into the fire station’s lot. He lunged for his go-bag and rushed into the station, but despite his efforts to hustle, Bobby had apparently been waiting for him. 

The captain was up on the overlook, frowning down as Eddie jogged in, a disappointed mien surrounding him, Bobby waved him up to the second level as soon as they made eye contact, and Eddie gulped. With a heavy lead feeling in his gut, Eddie trudged up the stairs, his bag suddenly heavy in his grip. 

He stopped a few paces away from the captain. 

“Hey Bobby, man, I’m sorry.” Eddie hated to apologize but he also knew he was in the wrong. The past week he’d already been late due to Chris’s sitters just not showing up on time, or at all. He’d had to call off a shift just the week before because his family hadn’t been able to cover for that week’s sitter just blowing them off. 

Knowing he hadn’t been a model employee himself sat heavy on Eddie’s mind, making him uncomfortably aware of just how in the wrong he was at work and with his captain.

Hands clenched on the strap of his bag, and he shuffled his feet as he stood before Bobby, deeply unsettled with the other man’s uncharacteristic silence. 

Bobby wasn’t the chattiest on their crew but he did make a point of greeting every one of his people when they showed up on shift, and typically having some sort of conversation with each of them throughout the day.

Being the low man on the totem pole, and still a probie, even if he had been handpicked by the captain, it meant he was on thin ice. It burned that this wasn’t the first time he’d been late to his shift, not even the first time this week. The service Shannon’s co-worker had suggested had a seemingly endless supply of horrible workers. Eddie had nothing but problems with the babysitters they sent out. Todd, today the sitter didn’t own a watch and had shown no concern for Eddie’s own work schedule.

After an uncomfortable pause, Bobby finally broke his silence.

“Eddie, I know that you have a lot going on at home right now but I need to know that we can depend on you. If your head isn’t in the game, then you need to let me know.”

Eddie had been chewed out by COs in the army that hadn’t made him feel as low as Bobby’s calm and reasonable demand did right now.

“I understand. I’ll try not to let you down again, Cap.”

Bobby cocked his head to the side, starring Eddie down for a good thirty uncomfortable seconds before he sighed and gave him what Chin had jokingly tagged Bobby’s “disappointed dad” look, and if the guilt sluicing down Eddie’s back was anything to go by, he’d have to agree with Chimney. 

The look caused Eddie to cringe and the urge to apologize for being tardy rose up all over again.

“I hope so, Eddie.” He clapped Eddie on the shoulder as he passed him to talk with the rest of the crew. Eddie still felt guilty enough about it that he didn’t even complain when he was given extra scut duty for the rest of the shift.

-0-0-0-

Three days after the Dean’s abrupt dismissal, Buck still hadn’t managed to wrap his brain around losing the Declan Studies summer program. Not over a picture of him with his shirt off.

He’d had his heart set on a paid position within the youth program he volunteered for, Youth At Risk Now (Y.A.R.N.) but the requirements of the posted position required at least a 4-year degree. The only requirement left in Buck’s degree program was an internship. Now that was potentially all gone and he’d had no luck at finding a backup internship because of how late in the summer Declan Studies started their program. 

Buck had even spoken with his academic counselor the first day after the dean had dismissed him.

-0-

“I’m sorry, Buck, but after the fair, all placements for the summer have been set. You of course still have the option of an unsponsored position, but that requires approval from the Academic Board and me.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of,” Buck said. He picked back up the folder with his resume for internships.

His counselor looked guilty. “And there’s no one at Y.A.R.N. that will help you out? You’ve put in a lot of hours volunteering over there; none of the directors will sign off on an internship?”

Buck winced. “I didn’t exactly get off on the right foot with her.”

“I’m sorry but unless you’re able to find another placement yourself, you’ll have to return for the fall semester.”

-0-

Even with his side jobs, he in no way had the money to extend his degree coursework for another semester. 

He’d barely managed to scrap by this last year by picking up hours with Hen and Karen, extending his student loans and adding three more roommates to the apartment. He’d already taken more student loans than he wanted and survived on a diet of more ramen than Maddie liked. 

His sister had even insisting on paying him to walk Snuffles, her giant cat, ostentatiously so they could get the cat’s weight down but really to keep Buck from some of his more dangerous money making schemes.

The premature end to his internship was dangerously close to nixing his dreams of finishing his degree. Period.

Worse, the delay would knock him out of the running for a paid position with Y.A.R.N. and the other guy in the running wasn’t a fan of Buck’s, so he’d likely be booted from that program too. The director of the branch of the program he volunteered for was a lieutenant in the LA police, Athena Grant.

When he’d first started to volunteer with the program he’d clashed with Athena and almost been banned for life. Their relationship had turned around somewhat when they’d worked together to help save a little girl’s life. Buck had been a vigilant volunteer at Y.A.R.N. ever since that day. 

He’d been looking forward to working within the program as more than just a volunteer but without his degree he wouldn’t be eligible for the position. And without an internship he wasn’t going to get his degree.

-0-0-0-

As if the loss of his internship wasn’t enough, the bad news just right on rolling in for Buck that June.

-0-

“It’s short notice but at least you’ll have the place to yourself for the summer!”

Buck stared. He tried to remember if he had walked under a series of ladders or broken a mirror and just forgotten. His run of bad luck seemed dismal.

“I uh don’t think that’ll work out for the rent, Jess. Danny, Greg and Reese already bailed for the summer.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but Kyle and I found our own place that’s twenty-minutes closer to my work. It’s really important to me that I focus on that right now, so I know you’ll understand. I’m sure it’ll work out for the best.” His apparently former roommate explained.

Buck could only blink though, when he gathered his thoughts he asked, “You’re work as a barista?”

Jess scowled. “Don’t say it like that! That’s serving the people, living life on the front line, making a difference in hundreds of peoples’ lives every day.”

Buck threw out his hand to slow the rant coming at him, Jess reluctantly stopped.

“Ok, but how am I suppose to make for everyone else’s rent?”

Jess shrugged and started to walk to her room, moving box under her arm. “I’m sure the universe will find a way.”

Buck swallowed the grumble that wanted to fight its way passed his lips and just collapsed on his couch, while he had it. Belatedly, he realized that it was actually Jess’ couch and would likely disappear before the end of the day. With a groan he dragged up craigslist on his phone, desperate to figure out how to find a normal person in LA that he could convince to move in and help cover the apartment’s rent before the end of the month.

-0-

It turned out that you could get a lot of responses to roommate listings but still not find an acceptable roommate.

Buck moved out of his place and into Maddie’s by the following week. His landlord did not return his deposit.

-0-0-0- 

Eddie was also struggling this summer.

Chimney walked back into the kitchen, looking to finish his lunch and talk to Bobby about switching around a shift so he could take his girlfriend out but only found Hen and Eddie. To his consternation, Hen was packing leftovers from lunch into containers to put away for the B crew, and Eddie was washing the plates and silverware from the meal.

“What is this? I leave for five minutes and then come back to lunch suddenly being over?”

Hen scoffed at him, eyes rolling expansively behind her glasses. “You were on the phone with Tatiana for forty-five minutes, Chim.” 

When he opened his mouth to refute her claim, she continued speaking. “And more than half your plate was empty before you’d even left.”

Chimney frowned, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Most of the call had been talking Tatiana into a date, and an embarrassing amount of compromises about it on Chimney’s part. It hadn’t seemed like they’d talked about much, especially not over forty-minutes.

“I was not on the phone that long.” Chimney tried to deny, for appearance sake, only for his partner to stare him down with a look of complete disbelief. Chimney started to sweat; he turned to Eddie, looking for backup but the younger fireman looked over his shoulder, shrugged and went back to scrubbing at one of the pans Bobby had used to make lunch. “Uh, yeah dude, you were.”

“Well whatever, I just trying to make love happen. I didn’t realize that was a crime punishable by starvation. Do we have any of those fried veggie wrap things…?” He peered at the leftovers but Hen had most of the dishes had already been packaged before he’d come back. She pursed her lips, giving him an unimpressed look before finally relenting and pushing a container toward him. Chimney sent her a grin, popping the lid and dug in with gusto.

“You’re the best. So what were you two talking about?”

Hen smirked and chuckled, stacking the Tupperware for the fridge. “Eddie’s string of impossibly disastrous babysitters.”

Eddie groaned.

“When is Shannon due back?” Bobby asked, walking through the kitchen to refill his coffee mug.

Eddie sighed. “Not for a few weeks at the earliest, she called the other day, apparently they’re having more trouble there than they expected.”

Bobby took a sip from his mug, and leaned against the kitchen’s island. “How’s Chris handling that?”

Eddie felt a pinch of guilt when he thought of the conversation with Chris and how his kid had taken the news, sad but trying not to show it.

“Not well. Between Carla and Shannon being gone for the summer, we just can’t seem to catch a break. He has a book list from his teachers to read over break and I haven’t been able to get him to make much progress on his own.”

“Why don’t you hire Denny’s super nanny?” Chimney gestured with the veggie wrap, pointing it at Hen. “Didn’t he help Denny with that science project and John’s step-kid with some sort of math program last summer?”

Eddie tensed. “I don’t know that it would be a good idea.” 

He hadn’t liked the idea of using a nanny service when Shannon had first mentioned it, and after the flakey sitters and no shows that the service had provided he wasn’t feeling great about a stranger watching Chris. So far it had only led to him being chronically late or absent from his own work.

As much as he preferred to have his family watch Christopher, they had limitations as well. Just this Sunday, his tia had mentioned how his abuela was getting up there in age, and wasn’t truly up for the task of watching a little boy every day. 

The older woman had denied it but Eddie knew there was more truth in the statement than any of them wanted to admit.

“That actually would work out really well,” Hen acknowledged Chim’s idea, Chimney frowned at her reluctant admittance of him having a good idea but she just waved him off and shoved the last of the food in the fridge.

When Hen turned back to face Eddie, she explained further. “The kid’s been looking for another gig and according to Karen, when he came over to help her setup her office the other week he mentioned his roommates flaked out and he’s camping out on his sister’s couch.”

Chimney and Eddie both winced.

Chimney pointed out. “Since Shannon flew the city for the summer, he’s probably being a good bet he’ll be interested. Especially after living with a sibling, I bet a room with a door when he watches Chris during out overnight shifts is probably excellent incentive.”

Eddie felt a flash of embarrassment about his ex-wife’s abandonment but couldn’t dismiss the idea of a decent babysitter when it was in his grasp, not altogether, much as he would like to.

Inviting anyone into their lives was always a crapshoot, as Christopher’s father, Eddie worried that a sitter wouldn’t know how special his son was, or know how to interact with someone with CP, or they might do something that would hurt Chris’s self-esteem, but he’d heard mention of the Wilson’s sitter before, and it’d only ever been good things. 

Given how protective he knew they were of their own son and foster daughter, especially after the issues with Hen’s ex, he figured it couldn’t hurt to talk to the guy.

“I’ll text you his number, but I’d work fast. The kid is a wonder and he won’t be looking for an interested family for long.”

Eddie’s phone buzzed and he opened the text from Hen to enter the information into his phone.

“Your nanny’s name is ‘Buckaroo’?”

Hen cackled. “Oh baby, that is a whole story I’m gonna need at least a couple beers before I can even do it justice.”

-0-0-0-

Buck watched in delight as Maddie’s cat, Snuffles, waddled into her living room and made a beeline for his feet. He folded down and plucked the fat cat up, tucking her into his arms and laying her against his chest with one arm, rubbing under her chin with two fingers. She purred like an old riverboat, puttering down the stream, leaning heavily against Buck’s chest, content with her lot in life.

Maddie grumbled about her cat favoring Buck more than her, and he chuckled before settling him and Snuffles more firmly on Maddie’s couch, slowly slumping so that Snuffle’s wasn’t disturbed.

“That cat is happier to see you than she is me, and I’m feeding her!” Maddie half-heartedly complained, a smile tickling the corners of her mouth. Her brother had been pretty down since he’d lost the internship, and seeing him fuss and smile over Snuffles gave her hope that he wasn’t completely lost about his lot in life.

Buck just smiled and cooed over the cat, rubbing her side with a broad palm. “That’s because the ladies love me.”

“Yeah, maybe a little too much.” Maddie grumbled, and then winced as Buck instantly recoiled, and she wished she hadn’t said anything.

She tried to give Buck an apologetic look, aware the comment probably hit a little too close to home after his ruinous gig with the bachelorette party. They’d talked already about his cancelled internship position, but she knew better than most just how sensitive Buck would be about it. The topic was still a raw and vulnerable spot for him.

“Sorry.”

Buck shrugged his wide shoulders and tried to downplay it. “It’s fine. I just have to figure out how I’m going to make ends meet so I’m not a starving artist.”

Maddie tried to lighten the mood. “I think you have to know more than finger painting to be classified as a starving artist.”

The remark missed but Buck tried to give her a half smile to show he wasn’t going to hold a grudge about it. “Well, a starving bum that lives on your couch then.”

Maddie sent a heartfelt smile toward Buck, sitting down next to him and running a hand down Snuffles’ back. The cat let out a ‘mrreow?’ at the additional attention but continued to purr contentedly.

“Speaking of a bum that lives on my couch, Snuffles’ vet has spoken – she needs to lose 7 to 10 pounds.”

Buck groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. “Back to walking Snuffles Duty?”

Maddie nodded solemnly. “Back to Snuffles walking duty.”

Bucked scratched the cat under her chin, shoving his face next to her small square head as he baby talked to her. “I still love you, Snuffs, even if your vet and mommy want to fat shame you.”

Maddie swatted him with a decorative pillow. “Buck, come on! You love Snuffles and she actually loves you enough to allow you to put her harness on and take her on walks. Meanwhile, she refuses to even entertain the idea of letting me in the same room with her and a harness! I feel like the worst pet parent when I go to walk her and she just lets herself be dragged along like a corpse.”

Buck chuckled and his sister punched him in the side of the arm again with the pillow, he continued laughing and leaned away. When Maddie picked up the throw pillow again he acquiesced, throwing his hands palms out in surrender. “Ok, ok! I’ll help.”

Maddie felt a little of her worry ease as his mood bouncing back, she’d been worried since the issue with Declan Studies, and if her chubby cat could be used to help Buck focus on something else she’d been happy to use the excuse.

“Good! That should take care of some of your money problems, I can pay you to help with Snuffles and since Kevin got you into this mess with your internship, I’m sure he’ll give you some more shifts at the bar until you can figure something else out.”

Buck leaned back against the couch until he was completely prone, Snuffles wriggled about like a drunken sailor on his abs before kneading him for a few minutes and settling down again. Buck watched her, attention rapt as she used him as a napping spot, a warm spark of contentment settling in his soul. He didn’t readily admit it, but he’d been a little heartbroken when his apartment’s No Pet police had been enforced after he’d rescued Snuffles from a dumpster. His sister had been willing to house the cat, but Buck had always been a little broken up that he still never owned a pet of his own.

Spending a few extra hours a week walking the fat cat wouldn’t be a hardship, though he was loath to admit it.

“That sounds like a plan. I just wish it hadn’t come to this.”

“I have faith in you little brother, you’ll figure it out.” Maddie leaned against Buck’s side, resting her head on his shoulder and reached over to card her fingers through Snuffles’ impressive bulk.

Buck buried his fingers in Snuffles’ fur too, scratching down her spin gently to her loud purring approval. “I hope so, Maddie, I really hope do. It’s bad enough that I barely have any hours with Denny since Karen decided to work from home during his summer break but between that, losing the internship and Jess moving out and losing the apartment I just can’t seem to catch a break.”

Maddie asked, “I thought Hen gave your number to a guy on her crew for a manny spot?”

Buck groaned. “Don’t call it that.”

Scenting blood in the water, Maddie pushed. “You’re a man who acts as a nanny, what’s so wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing with a man watching kids, but calling me a manny makes it seem like there shouldn’t just be one term for it, childcare by a guy is just the same as childcare by a lady. Some term like ‘manny’ makes it seem like I’m just eye candy for the kid’s parent.”

Maddie rolled her eyes at her brother, leaning further against him to take some of the sting out of her comment. “Buck, you’ve looked in the mirror right? You spend more time at the gym than any of the guys I worked with combined. You are eye candy for these kid’s parents but you’re also a great guardian for their kid, any family would be lucky to have you help them out.”

“Somehow it’s even worse when my sister calls me eye candy,” Buck whined.

She swatted him with the pillow, much to Snuffles’ displeasure. The cat grumbled and waddled over to tuck herself under Buck’s bicep, away from Maddie.

“This is why she likes me best, you realize that right?” He needled, in the tradition of little brothers everywhere.

-0-0-0-

“But why can’t we go to the carnival now? You promised!” Chris pouted, dejectedly staring up from his bowl of cereal to meet Eddie’s gaze.

It made Eddie feel like the worst parent in the world. He licked his lips, trying to figure out how to explain being on-call to his kid.

“I’m sorry, buddy. You know I would love to spend the day with you at the carnival, but I’m on responsible for filling if someone else can’t work their shift at the station; and one of the fire fighters at work got hurt on a call today, so I have to fill in for him.”

“Ok, dad.” Chris kept pouting but didn’t complain further, just slowly stirred his cereal.

It made Eddie feel even worse about having to cancel their outing. He cursed John for tripping and spraining his wrist after his crew had put out the fire. 

Eddie put their bowls in the sink, picked up Chris’s backpack and led his son out to his truck. They needed to head over to Chris’s tia so she could keep an eye on Christopher while Eddie went to work.

Her disapproving glare as he backed out of her driveway twenty-minutes later was the final straw; Eddie needed to find a nanny and figure out how to make it work. While his relatives loved spending time with Christopher, he knew they disapproved of the situation with Shannon.

At this point he had to admit his current plan wasn’t sustainable; not to mention that if he was late one more time Bobby had made it abundantly clear he was half a heartbeat away from suspending the probationary firefighter.

He may not like having a stranger watch his kid but Eddie knew couldn’t keep dumping Chris on whoever was available because of his and Shannon’s work. 

As soon as there was a lull in the shift, he called Buck.

-0-0-0-

“Hey Shannon, I’ve got a meeting setup with on a nanny for Chris.”

“Eddie, I really don’t have time to discuss this right now.” He tried to not allow her brisk tone annoy him.

“If you think she’ll work out, then great, go with her. Martin has been very apologetic about the service he recommended, since it wasn’t working out for us, which is great for me because he’s been helping me out a lot more since I mentioned the problems it caused us.”

Eddie bit back the urge to point out that the bad nannies had really only caused him problems, that Shannon, hundreds of miles away, had very little inconvenience to her life due to Chris’s sitters. It’s petty to point it out. Eddie doesn’t want to be one of those ex-husbands that are petty.

Plus it’ll derail the conversation for a few days and solve nothing.

“It’s not a woman, its Hen’s old nanny.”

“Hen?”

Eddie’s dentist was going to have a field day about his teeth. Annoyance shot down his spine, and he exhaled forcefully before he replied to the unasked question. “Hen, from my crew.”

“Oh, right, of course.” She chuckled, playing it off, Eddie tried not to grind his teeth any further or at this rate he’d need caps before the summer was done.

They’d often fought over Shannon not accepting that when she’d left they hadn’t frozen in place exactly as she’d left– including ignoring that they’d made new friends, though the fire crew felt more like family than just friends. “Ok, well like I said, I have to get off the phone. If you want we can talk about it tomorrow, but I don’t have the time right now.”

“Right, well when you make time for your son in your busy work schedule, call me.”

He ended the call before the fight that was brewing bubbled over. It wasn’t the first time Eddie wished Shannon showed as much interest in their son’s life as she did her career.

He took a deep breath, put his phone down and refocused on what needed to get done. 

Evan Buckley was due to come over for an officially meeting with Christopher this afternoon but there were still some things that needed straightened up around the house. His son wasn’t very enthused about another potential sitter.

Eddie couldn’t blame him.

This June they’d run the gauntlet of horrible sitters from the recommended service; he’d only mentioned a few of them with his crew. It had started with Travis, a younger man who spent more time with his cellphone in his hand than actually paying attention to Chris; then Hannah, a middle aged woman who didn’t actually understand CP and what it meant for Chris’ day-to-day life; then Gina, a college student who didn’t actually end up having the time in her summer schedule that she’d at first thought; Jason, a guy that had thought Chris was a dog sitting gig, and the camel that broke Eddie’s back were: Dani, Ron, Corey, Andrea, Jen, Karen, Fran and Kenny-- a series of chronically late sitters that refused to give him any notice that they wouldn’t make it in time for him to get to work himself.

His family had tried to help out, but they weren’t in a position to take on fulltime care of their grandson and nephew even though Eddie wasn’t completely sold on Evan Buckley just yet, but he figured if Buck nailed this meeting with Christopher, Eddie was willing to extend a trial contract. Especially after how guilty he’d felt over the cancelled carnival trip with Christopher.

-0-

Without the extra support the housework had fallen on Eddie’s To Do List, and with the string of disastrous sitters, it had only gotten worse. Now that Buck’s arrival was imminent, Eddie took the time to go over the house, picking up odds and ends --questioning just how the trash always seemed to need to be pulled, and dragging his laundry basket from his room to be done. He stopped in the doorway of Christopher’s room to see how many clothes he had that needed cleaned, only to see Christopher staring dejectedly at his toys.

“Hey buddy, why don’t you put that away? Your new sitter is going to come over real soon.”

“Why don’t you just watch me instead, daddy? Don’t you like hanging out with me anymore?”

Eddie felt like the worst person on the planet, he put the items he was carrying down and moved so he could sit next to Chris, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “Mijo, you know that I love to spend time with you, it’s the highlight of my day when I’m with you but I have to go to work some of the time too. Besides, if we spent ALL of our time together we’d start to get grumpy with one another.”

“Like you and mommy?”

“No! Uh, well sorta. That’s a different situation; you’ll understand when you’re older. For now, Denny and Nia’s nanny, Buck, who is loads of fun is going to come and hang out with you.”

“Denny’s nanny?” Chris asked, a look of recognition dancing in his eyes. Though Hen’s son was a few years older than Christopher, on the rare occasion the crew was able to get together with their families the two boys had gotten along remarkable well. Eddie had met up a few times with Hen at the park with the boys, when he needed to talk. “Bucky? Really, daddy?”

Eddie felt his own spark of hope at Chris’s mood change. He didn’t think that Chris had ever met Buck, but perhaps Denny’s mothers weren’t the only ones who sung the man’s praises.

“Yeah, Karen and Hen promised me that Denny loved spending time with Buck. That he always looks forward to their play dates.”

Chris bit his lip, contemplating what he’d heard before responding, Eddie wasn’t sure what was on his son’s mind. “Yeah, but dad, I’m not Denny.” He paused for a few seconds, gathering his courage before admitting what he was afraid of, “What if, what if he doesn’t like me or. . . or he makes me do boring stuff, like read books!”

Eddie chuckled at his son’s antics; he reached forward and ruffled his curls. “Chris, if you don’t like Buck or he makes you uncomfortable -- then we can talk about finding someone else that you do feel comfortable around, but I really believe that you’ll find activities that you’ll enjoy. Even if you don’t like reading anymore. Can you trust me on this?”

Eddie’s heart melted when Chris jerkily bobbed his head up and down at his question.

“Okay, Dad.”

Before he could get too overwhelmed by his love for his son, the doorbell echoed through the house, followed by a short three-part knock on the front door. Eddie put a smile on and looked down at Christopher.

“Are you ready to make a new friend?”

“YES!”

Eddie grabbed Chris’ crutches from the floor and held them out, one at a time, to Chris so he could lead the way to the door, unwilling to showcase his gnawing doubts about the latest sitter “Call me, Buck!” to Chris, Eddie forced himself to look more enthused about the whole ordeal. 

Since the failed carnival outing, when Eddie had made the call to Buck, parental concern had had led to several more phone calls between Eddie and Buck. After the third call, Eddie had started to feel ridiculous but the prospective nanny had made it clear he didn’t mind and from what Eddie could tell over the phone the guy seemed happy to make sure they both had an understanding of what the job entailed and that whatever Christopher needed would come first. 

He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he’d been comforted by the reassurances, but now that the meeting was upon them, Eddie still felt nervous all over again; a distracting thrum of anticipation running up and down his spine.

As soon as he was close enough, Christopher swung open the door and the sight on the other side of it made Eddie feel as if he’d been kicked in the chest by a horse. 

Buried in the heap of praise Karen and Hen, an outline of the man in question had started to build in Eddie’s mind. During outings with Chris, he’d run across a handful of ‘mannies’, and had figured that Buck would fall within the stereotypical guy that watched kids. Hen had made him expect someone along the lines of what a human Golden Retriever. Karen told tales of a silly white boy with the biggest heart. They both agreed that Buck was always looking to help others.

In that instant, with a quick sweeps with his eyes Eddie picked up on a few things that the Wilsons had left out about Buck.

For starters, the ladies had not mentioned that his legs just kept going up and up and up. Eddie by no means considered short himself, but he couldn’t stop himself from shifting his stance against the door, self-conscious of just how long the other man’s legs were compared to his own. How they would feel thrown over his shoulders.

After he managed to move on from Buck’s legs, he noticed the thin t-shirt that did nothing to hide the fact that Evan Buckley was fit. The sleeves of his shirt were bulged out from his biceps and Eddie’s mind was unable to categorize it as anything but obscene. 

Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away. His fingers itch to reach out and run along those thick muscles, to wrap those long legs around his waist.

That wasn’t the end of his discoveries though, because Buck had a mouth that drove Eddie to distraction. Eddie was a lot of things: a father, a firefighter, a former soldier, but under all those titles and roles he was still just a man and Buck’s pink lips made Eddie chew his own bottom lip to keep from blurting out something wholly inappropriate though no jury would hold him guilty if they saw Buck’s plump lips.

Eddie felt his IQ dip, the guy’s eyelashes actually fluttered, like a Disney character – like a Disney Princess to be exact.

The giant fuck puppy literally clasped his hands together in front of himself, inadvertently forcing his shirt sleeves to the literal cusp of shredding, and tilted his head down ever so slightly and smiled.

There were some things Eddie was learning about himself this morning, like before today Eddie had never known he’d wanted to fuck the male embodiment of a Disney princess, but there was no way he could deny that his dick was taking too much of an interest in a guy that he still hadn’t greeted, standing on his doorstep. 

He also learned that it had been too long since he’d last been laid if he was perving on his kid’s sitter.

“Hi! You must be Eddie Diaz, Christopher’s father! It’s great to meet you!”

Buck reached out to shake hands, and Eddie thanked god that he automatically returned the gesture, because the wide palm, defined calluses and long, square fingers were distracting enough that Eddie still couldn’t manage more than an affirmative grunt, like he was some stupid grunt. 

Eddie felt like a caveman, his cheeks filled with heat – there was no getting around it, he was going to Hell. That was the only appropriate place for a pervert that was chubbing up in his jeans over his son’s future nanny. 

Before Eddie could manage to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth, the guy was folding his long, long legs under himself so he could kneel in front of Chris. It struck Eddie that this guy was making sure he was eye level with Chris, he was making sure to talk directly to the seven year old. Eddie’s lungs seized. Only a couple of the other nannies had even made an effort to include Chris in conversations, and only after Eddie himself had made a point of doing so, they’d never made the first move when it came to their chare.

“Hi, Christopher! My name’s Buck, and I’m really excited to finally meet you!”

Eddie could feel himself thawing about the idea of this guy watching Christopher, though he’d have to stow the inappropriate attraction to the blond, when he saw the jolt of joy in Chris’ face when Buck told Chris he was excited to meet him, Eddie knew he would do whatever it took to keep his son happy. Even ignore his Adonis of a babysitter.

“REALLY?!”

Buck smiled wider, pink lips stretching into a truly face shattering expression. “Yep!” He popped the ‘p’, dimples flashing. “In fact, a little Hen told me that you’re really good at putting together LEGOs?”

The guy leaned back on his haunches, unslung a back from his shoulder, Eddie wet his lips and forced himself not to look at the pretty display of the guy’s spread legs. Buck brought his bag around to open it up so that Chris could see inside.

Eddie felt a twitch of annoyance that the sitter was trying to buy Chris’ affection by giving him a toy, as if his son was that shallow.

Not aware of his dad’s unease, Chris nodded to Buck’s question. “Yeah!”

It was true, although objectively terrible at building anything recognizable, Chris loved putting them together. He could get lost for hours just playing with the bricks, and it was an often requested present for Christmas or birthdays by his son.

Buck’s smile curled into a delighted grin, his dimples flashing deeper and distracting Eddie from his ire about the bribe. 

“Cool, me too! I brought some of mine over today. Do you think you’d like to help me fix my helicopter?”

Buck reached into his backpack, and Eddie tried not to notice the way his back muscles flexed, really. When he pulled his arm back out there was a gallon bag of loose LEGO blocks, some in what could be classified as helicopter parts if one was being overly generous. So the guy wasn’t giving Chris a toy but trying to find some common activity for them to work on. 

Chris’s head bobbed so fast Eddie was a little concerned for his balance for a second. “YES! Please! It’ll be so great.”

Buck cheered too, his teeth flashing so damn white against those pink lips as he cheered. “Awesome! Why don’t you show me where you normally play with legos, Christopher?”

“Ok!”

Eddie stumbled against the door as Christopher hurried forward to latch onto Buck’s wrist and tug the man into their home.

Buck bumped into Eddie’s shoulder before Eddie belatedly backed up and waved the other man to come inside, feeling a flash of heat where they’d connected and startling embarrassed that he hadn’t already welcomed the man inside, well aware that his abuela would kill him if she ever found out about his lapse of manners. 

Eddie couldn’t recall the last time he’d been pleased to find out his assumption had been incorrect but he was happy that Buck hadn’t been trying to bribe Chris with a gift of LEGO bricks. He was surprised that the man had gone out of his way to find an easy way for Eddie’s son to feel comfortable talking with him, distracting Christopher from his previous apprehension over Buck not liking him because he wasn’t Denny, and instead engaging with him over an activity that Christopher loved.

At times, even their family struggled with finding ways to spend time with Christopher instead of just gifting him with a toy and expecting him to entertain himself with it during visits, not realizing that the gift of their time and subsequent memories created were worth more than any toy. It put Eddie at ease that the guy clearly knew what he was doing and was honestly good with not just kids but Chris.

-0-

As the afternoon progressed, Eddie watched the two interact from a discrete distance. There to smooth out any bumps or answer questions. He leaned against the door jam with his arms folded over his chest; as Christopher seemed to come to life as Buck spoke with him. 

So far, they’d built a series of rather wonky helicopters, more helicopters in spirit than form despite their combined efforts. Then Christopher had dragged Buck to his room to show him his ‘coolest toys’ and show him the dvd to his favorite movie. He followed it up with a tour of the house, and explaining all the cool plans he had for his Summer Bucket List.

By the end of the night, Eddie knew that even if he was still on edge about Buck, which he wasn’t, Christopher was completely on board. His son’s serious case of star eyes when it came to the blond was cute, and it silenced any concerns that Chris wouldn’t like the guy.

As they bid the younger man a good night and made plans for when Buck would show up tomorrow, in another life Eddie would be jealous of Chris’s adoration if it wasn’t so sweet.

Eddie had a feeling things were going to go a lot smoother now.

-0-0-0-

The next morning was a disaster.

With Chris’s enthusiasm about Buck, it’d taken a couple extra stories before he’d go to bed and with everything else going on Eddie had forgotten to check he’d set his alarm.

Which mean that now Eddie was rushing around, struggling to get ready to leave for his shift. During a normal morning he woke up Chris so they could work out, shower, get dressed and share breakfast.

Instead he was struggling to find something for breakfast before he needed to leave, having roused Christopher to get him moving toward being ready for his sitter’s arrival.

The sound of someone knocking at the door caused him to curse; he shuffled out of the kitchen to answer the door, trying to figure out if he still had time for his ancient coffee machine to produce a cup or if he should just deal with the sludge at the station; when for the second time in as many days, the door opened to reveal Buck standing on the other side.

Unlike Eddie, who’d barely managed to find an undershirt and still had trickles of water dripping down his neck from his speed shower; Buck was perfectly put together in khaki pants, blindingly white sneakers and another t-shirt that was holding on for its life. He also seemed genuinely bright eyed and bushy tailed, if only a stark reminder of just how unready Eddie himself was for the day.

The nanny smirked when he saw Eddie and wordlessly handed over a coffee in a To-Go cup and a brown paper bag that had the most amazing smell coming out of it.

“What’s this?” Eddie asked.

Buck bumped shoulders with Eddie as he came through the door. “Breakfast, Eddie.”

“But . . . “

Buck rolled his eyes, but his smile softened the blow as he shoved the cup and bag into Eddie’s hands. “Eddie, it’s the first day with a new sitter for your kid, you probably stayed up all night imagining a hundred and one horror situations. It’s a black coffee and a couple breakfast burritos. I like to get an early start, so making a couple extra isn’t a hardship. Just take it.”

Eddie stared at the blond, gob smacked. 

He was always the one that fixed things. 

Taking care of Chris was his main priority, and as his father, he was the one that was kissing the boo-boos or finding ways to chase away the monsters. Stopping by with groceries for his abuela and fixing his tia’s handrail. Even at work the job was all about finding solutions to other people’s problems. 

He was a problem solver. It drove Shannon nuts.

As the person always solving problems though, Eddie wasn’t used to someone trying to take care of him, it felt strange. 

His family was happy to help with Christopher but he actively had to seek out their assistance. Outside of his family, crew and Carla, there weren’t people actively looking to solve Eddie’s issues, but he couldn’t deny that it was sorta nice to have Buck bring him breakfast. 

That the blond had taken into consideration how anxious Eddie would be and had taken steps to help ease his burden without Eddie having to ask him to do so. 

“Thanks, man.”

The nanny beamed. 

Eddie tried to remember to not swallow his tongue. Instead he took a hot sip of the coffee to distract himself from Buck’s smile.

“Sure, it’s not a problem, Eddie. I uh I like cooking.” Buck blushed, shrugging his shoulders and drawing Eddie’s attention to the truly impressive width of them.

“I appreciate it but we’re normally not this disorganized. I promise to not ---“ Eddie was cut off from reassuring Buck that he wasn’t going to make it a habit of Buck bringing him breakfast by Christopher bursting down the hallway and shouting out his sitter’s name.

“BUCK!”

The blond’s eyelashes fluttered at Eddie before he smiled at Chris’ enthusiastic greeting, and ducked down to greet Chris in return. “It’s not a big deal, and I’m happy to help, Eddie. Hey buddy! Are you ready for a fun day?”

Chris bobbed up and down, “Yeah! We’re gonna be so much fun!”

Buck’s eyes lit up, “Great!”

Their combined enthusiasm soothed some of Eddie’s lingering jitters about if last night had just been a fluke or would genuinely carry on to their future interactions.

He waved Buck in and headed toward the kitchen to grab his go-bag from the counter. He’d been trying to puzzle out just how he was going to find the time to make his own breakfast and get Chris ready for the day before taking off for his shift but the pre-made meal would help him make it to work on time for once.

He slipped into his room, figured out the rest of his clothes and came back out to Chris waving his arms around as he sat at the table and Buck started making his breakfast. 

Eddie felt his own lips curving into a smile. “Thanks again, Buck. Make sure you guys call me if there are any issues? Unless I’m on a work call, I’ll be able to pick it up.”

“Yeah, of course, have a good day. Tell Hen I said ‘hi’!” Buck waved.

“Bye, dad!”

“Bye, mijo.”

-0-0-0-

Eddie made it to work with ten minutes to spare, a rarity since Shannon’s and Carla’s trips. 

“Is that a Buckley Breakfast Burrito I smell?”

Eddie shot Hen a questioning glance as he walked into the station. He was polishing off the second burrito that had been nestled in the bag Buck given him. 

“I suppose?” 

The sitter hadn’t called it anything but a breakfast burrito, but if Hen was identifying it by smell alone, perhaps it was something he made for his clients all the time? Eddie swallowed another bite, and found it wasn’t as delicious as before. He tried to ignore how it made him feel less special because of course Buck made meals for his clients, Christopher was special to Eddie but he was just another client to Buck. The guy probably made burritos for all his kids’ parents.

Before he could get depressed over a breakfast burrito, Hen snatched the bag from his hand, yanked it open and peered inside. She frowned when all she came up with were the wrappers from the first burrito.

“What the hell, Diaz!”

Eddie struggled to rally smug look in rebuttal. “You snooze you lose, besides Buck didn’t make breakfast for the entire station, he just sent me with a couple because I was running late and he’d made a couple extra.”

Hen threw the bag right back at him. “I’ve changed my mind; we need Buck back, asap, man he didn’t often bust out the cooking skills for Karen and me but damn when he did it was good!”

Eddie felt stupidly relieved to hear that, he covered his reaction by laughing at Hen’s antics. “Don’t know what to tell you, he happened to make a couple extra this morning, that’s all.”

Hen hummed, bumping their shoulders together. “What did I tell you, he’s thoughtful, right? Surprisingly thoughtful for the human version of a Golden Retriever, our Buck’s a people pleaser through and through.”  
“Well he pleased Chris to no end. They built a fleet of LEGO helicopters yesterday and Chris talked about him pretty much non-stop since he left last night until he went to bed. An inside source gave Buck the tip apparently?” 

He’d been nervous about how well the two would mix, but the cheerful nanny that had shown up at his front step had reassured him of some of his doubts, and he knew in part he had Hen to thank for that.

Hen shot him a pleased smile. “Glad it seems to be working out. To tell you the truth, Karen and I were all really sorry to have to let him go.” 

They moved toward the locker rooms, both still needing to stow their bags for the shift. “Buck is a keeper but with Karen at home we couldn’t justify the extra expense. Denny’s taken it pretty well since he gets to see Karen a lot more and Nia’s still pouting that her “Bucky” isn’t around but Karen’s winning her back over with cheerios.” 

They went up the stairs toward the kitchen, Hen heading straight for the coffee maker, pouring some into a mug.

Chimney looked up as they walked by him and frowned as Eddie stuffed the last of his burrito in his mouth. “No one thought to get me a burrito? I like burritos!”

Hen and Eddie shared a look and burst out laughing at the senior fireman. 

-0-0-0-

“Hey Buck?”

“Yeah, what’s up buddy?” Buck looked up from their pile of LEGO bricks.

“What do you know about space ships?”

Buck smiled, since Chris had mentioned having a space dream the night before, they’d spent most of the morning trying to create a rocket ship but were only having middling success at creating anything that resembled a spacecraft. Buck supposed it counted as a UFO and those were all sorts of space related, so it counted as a success in his book.

“Uh, well I did a paper on Apollo 11 for middle school, but not too much in general.”

“Oh.” Chris fiddled with a brick, not meeting Buck’s gaze.

Buck bit at his bottom lip, thinking. He liked to have a wide knowledge base but Denny had been more interested in dinosaurs and bugs than space. “It’s nice out though, so if you’d like after lunch we could head over to the library, get some books on space.”

Chris grimaced. 

Buck chuckled, catching the little boy’s expression. “They have a summer program that’s pretty neat, Chris. The librarians will give you a ticket for each book you read and every week they do a raffle for prizes. Last year Denny won a ticket to a movie and a pretty cool kite.”

Chris looked more interested once Buck mentioned the prizes. Buck found that kids he watched were more interested in the prizes, at least at first. “After lunch, we could head over and check it out? That way we could find a few books on space to read together.”

Chris perked up even further. “You’d read them with me? You don’t think it’d be lame?”

“Of course not, I like learning new facts. How else am I going to learn about space if we don’t both read the books?”

Chris cheered.

“That sounds really good, Bucky!” Chris said. 

-0-0-0-

After he finished his 12-hr shift, Eddie was unsure what state the house would be in considering it was Buck’s first true day of watching over Christopher, so he approached the front door with a certain level of trepidation he hadn’t felt since he’d been deployed. 

There hadn’t been any emergency phone calls from his son or the sitter, though before lunch he’d received a series of texts with pictures showing Chris building something with LEGO bricks and the caption ‘blasting off!’ but even with that hint Eddie honestly hadn’t been able to figure out what the figure was meant to be, maybe a racecar? Or a cheetah?

Preparing to enter his own house like it was a call on the job; Eddie steeled his nerves and opened the front door. As he walked into the family room, lungs squeezed tight from the tension he searched for any sign of how the day went. 

The pair had seemed to click pretty well with each other last night, but a few of the nannies had sent had been one trick ponies too. In front of the parent they’d show off one activity they knew the kid would enjoy, only to employ it continuously until the kid ultimately lost interest. When the enthusiasm for it ran out, they’d park Chris in front of the TV in hopes of easing their burden and have limited interaction with him for the rest of the day. 

The LEGO building had been a great way to break the ice but Eddie knew it wouldn’t hold Christopher’s attention the entire summer. A seed of doubt had taken root when Eddie received the LEGO text even though Chris had looked thrilled, and Eddie tried to ignore the part of him that was hoping that Buck was the real deal. 

The night before Buck had broached the activities from Chris’s Summer Bucket List, and seen what Eddie approved for them to do while Eddie was at work so Eddie held out hope that Buck had more up his sleeve. Though with biceps like that, Eddie thought it would have to be a tight squeeze. 

Still, when Eddie didn’t see anyone in the family room, the tv was off and there wasn’t a peep of laughter from down the hall, his nerves ramped up even further. He found himself actually holding his breath. 

Eddie picked you his pace. A clang and a thud drew his attention toward the kitchen.

“Chris?!”

“Hey, we’re in the kitchen, Eddie!”

Stepping faster, Eddie rushed toward the kitchen, his heart racing more than the trip warranted considering what he got up to at work. 

“Dad!” Chris cheerfully greeted as soon as he walked in, wiggling in place at the table. 

Eddie automatically scanned Chris up and down, checking for injuries or signs he was unhappy, but he had a book in front of him and seemed to be voluntarily reading, despite his worries the other day of just that occurrence. Other than the oddity of Chris suddenly reading, he seemed perfectly content with how his day had gone.

“Hey buddy, what’ve you got there?” Eddie gestured to the book, he hadn’t seen Buck with it when he’d come that morning but maybe he’d had it in his Jeep?

“Buck took me to the library for books on SPACE!”

Eddie blinked. 

The library had been on the list of possible places to take Chris, but Eddie hadn’t held out hope that they’d hit it up. His son had loved to read until a few months back some of his former classmates had bullied him on the subject, since then it had been difficult to get Chris to pick up a book. Eddie and Shannon had tried but their success had been limited. 

At the news of Chris showing some interest in books, Eddie felt his own face break into a grin that matched his son’s. He leaned against the island and ruffled his curls.

“Space, huh? Sounds pretty neat.”

Chris nodded, shifting the book to show off a picture. 

“Yeah, did you know that the gravity on Mars is only a third of Earth’s?” Buck blurted out, still facing the stove. 

Eddie turned toward the blond, a curious look on his face. “Uh, no I can’t say that I did.”

“Bucky and me read a whole chapter on Mars! And NASA has a rover going out in July and its name is gonna be Per...Perser... Perseverance!”

“Good job remembering, Superman!” Buck cheered, turning from the stove to hold out a palm for a high-five. Chris grinned widely and smacked his hand against Buck’s. 

“I didn’t realize you were so into space.” Eddie said, eyebrow quirked.

Buck’s cheeks pinked up and Eddie was so distracted by how good it looked that he almost didn’t hear Buck’s response “I wasn’t but Chris has been reading me some pretty fun facts since we got back from the library, right buddy?”

“We’ve already finished one whole book!”

Eddie was shocked; he’d assumed that Buck had let Christopher read quietly to himself but they sitter apparently engaged with Eddie’s son to keep him interested in the book. 

Buck smiled at Christopher. “Yep, that means when we go back to the library we can get a ticket for the raffle PLUS we’ll have an entire book’s worth of cool facts to share about space!”

“A raffle, huh?” Eddie asked, brow creasing further in confusion. 

Instead of answering the question, Buck shared a grin with Christopher and continued working on something at the stove that smelled delicious. 

Christopher started to explain the program to his dad, waving his hands in large circles to indicate all the prizes he could win if he read enough books this summer, Buck throwing in a detail or correction every now and then. 

As his son spoke, Eddie felt the tension leak out of his muscles. Chris went on and on about his day with Buck, clearly very happy with his newest sitter, and at least somewhat recovered from his funk over his mom’s work trip. Plus Eddie had to grudgingly admit, if nothing else came of Hen’s former babysitter, the guy had already managed to get Chris back into reading again, a feat that both Shannon and Eddie hadn’t managed even with the school change and a stricter monitoring of his interactions with classmates. 

By the time Eddie put away the meal Buck had cooked them before leaving, he was ready to hug Karen for working at home that summer.

-0-0-0-

A couple weeks into the arrangement and Buck was still riding the high of how adorable he found Christopher and Eddie. Maddie teased him ceaselessly about his boy crush on his newest kid’s dad, Buck had laughed it off and told Maddie she needed to focus on her own love life. 

Buck set the drink on a napkin in front of a brunette and took the next customer’s card to setup her tab, still talking about his last shift with the Diaz family. 

“And then he had a dream about cowboys, so we’ve been learning about horses, camping and horseback riding all week.”

The brunette and her friends crowded closer, cooing. One redhead made a comment about taking Buck for a ride that Buck 1.0 would have taken her up on in a heartbeat, now Buck 2.0 just pretended to have not heard the not so subtle whisper and continued to pour the ladies their round of shots. 

“Aww, your son sounds so sweet!” The brunette sipped her drink and attempted to make heavy eye contact with the tall bartender. 

Buck grinned but shook his head, passing out the shots to the ladies. “Uh thanks but Chris isn’t my son, he’s the kid I’m the nanny for—“

“Oh that’s so sweet! Wow, a big, cute guy like you and good with kids?” The redhead winked, reaching out to run her hand up Buck’s arm. 

“I love kids. The other day at the park Chris was –“ Buck gestured widely, breaking the woman’s contact with his arm as he retold how Christopher has flown a kite the previous day. 

“Buckley, less chatter more drink pouring!” Kevin hollered from the other end of the bar, sending out a round of drinks with a waitress. Buck frowned. They weren’t that busy tonight, so Buck didn’t understand his friend’s annoyance with him chatting with the group, other than him not getting attention from a group of pretty ladies.

He smirked, ignored Kevin and continued to tell the small group that had gathered about his day at the park with Chris, searching out pet rocks and flying kites. 

Kevin groaned and thudded his head against the bar, muttering loud enough that they could hear him. “My brother warned me not to hire a bartender hotter than me.”

The ladies overheard his comment and it sent them into a fit of giggles. The redhead leaned up against the bar coquettishly and requested another round of shots, this time in honor of Buck’s story, the redhead asked for Cocksucking Cowboy shots. 

Bucked felt his face flush and to hide his embarrassment he waved Kevin over to help out and his friend’s mood seemed to drastically improve as the shift continued, the redhead’s attention focusing on Buck’s friend to both of their mutual interests and Buck’s great relief.

-0-0-0-

“Hey man, I really appreciate it. I didn’t think we’d get called in today but I guess a pretty nasty flu has been going around the station.”

Buck just waved off Eddie’s apology, the biggest grin on his face. Eddie felt his breath catch awkwardly, he cleared his throat and tried to focus on anything other than Buck’s brilliant smile.

“Eddie you don’t have to apologize to me for getting to spend the day with Christopher at the zoo. That’s awesome! This is the opposite of a problem for me!” 

Buck leaned in to whisper so only Eddie would hear him and Eddie’s lungs felt like they were going to seize as he felt Buck’s heated breath against his ear. “Honestly, Maddie was making fun of me because you guys were going today when I was off. Can you believe she said I was pouting?”

Buck leaned back some, still well within Eddie’s personal space and Eddie licked his bottom lip, holding in the urge to point out that Buck was pouting about his girlfriend pointing out he pouted at all. 

On the one hand, he was thrilled Buck enjoyed spending time with Chris but on the other hand he felt jealous hearing that Buck had a girlfriend, even if he did talk about them with her. Eddie knew it was a stupid thing to get caught up on, and that he should be relieved, it meant the other man wasn’t available and he could stop ogling him when he came over in the morning. No matter that Eddie had quickly become addicted to seeing the stretch of Buck’s shirts against his chest or arms. A girlfriend meant off limits. A little voice said that being his son’s baby sitter should make him off limits too. Eddie pretended to not have heard either. 

“I’m sorry about your co-worker though, I hope they feel better.” Buck continued, he ducked down to reach out for Chris, swinging him up onto his shoulders. The gesture was well practice and smooth, and the blond didn’t seem to struggle in the least with Christopher’s added weight on his shoulders. 

Eddie struggled a little to not get caught noticing how effortless it was for Buck, shifting his stance to discreetly adjust himself. Working out was part of being a firefighter but Eddie knew plenty of guys he worked with that would kill to have Buck’s build.

Oblivious, Buck turned to look up at Christopher, “Are you ready to go see some monkeys and lions, buddy?”

“And penguins!” Chris added on, apparently not very torn up about Eddie having to go back to work now that Buck was there to cover for him. Eddie and Buck chuckled over Chris’s enthusiasm. 

Not for the first time that afternoon, Eddie cursed having to give up time with his son. He’d thought a little adventure with just the two of them would make Chris happy, and it had been up until Bolles, Callen and Jonson had both been sent home due to sickness. 

He’d known it was a risk to go out despite being technically on-call, but he almost never got called in after working a double shift so he figured the outing would be safe. He’d talked to Buck the previous night when he’d gotten back from his shift, mentioning that he might need the other man to come in if he was called back to work. Buck had said he understood but had seemed a little despondent about it. At the time, Eddie had assumed the sitter just wanted some time away but Eddie was somewhat relieved to find out that he’d been wrong and that the reason for Buck’s mood the other night was because he’d felt left out. If anything the nanny seemed as stoked as Christopher to have his off day cancelled.

“And the penguins, of course, we can’t skip them! Maddie talks about how I would cry if the penguins weren’t out in their enclosure when I was a kid.”

A flare of jealously spark in Eddie’s chest at the mention of Buck’s girlfriend again. He tried to shove it down, deep deep down.  
“You’ve known your girlfriend that long?” 

Maybe not so deep. 

Shannon and he had been high school sweethearts; it wouldn’t be that strange for Buck to have known his girlfriend since they were little kids, but Eddie was shocked by how bitter he felt about the subject. 

Buck looked disgusted, face scrunched up and he physically backed away.

“Girlfriend? Ugh, no, Maddie is my sister. I thought I mentioned she was a nurse when we talked the other week?”

The rush of relief Eddie felt was pointless he told himself, because he wasn’t going to be a creep that hit on his kid’s sitter. Chimney would never let him live it down, and Eddie couldn’t afford to try and find a replacement to watch Chris if it blew up in his face. 

“Oh right, you never mentioned her name.” 

Eddie’s relief was cut short when Chris reaching out to pat the top of Eddie’s head to get his attention. 

“Buck’s sister has a cat named Snuffles, isn’t that a silly name, dad?”

Eddie felt his face slip into an easy smile. “That is a silly name, buddy.”

Buck chuckled, leaning closer to Eddie, bumping his bicep against Eddie’s shoulder. “Snuffles is quite possibly the fattest housecat in California. Maddie has me walk her a few times a week when I have time in my schedule.” 

Buck gestured how big the cat was but Eddie doubted the size of car he indicated with his hands seemed likely. 

“You can’t walk a cat, Bucky!” Chris crowed, pulling at Buck’s shirt, hunching down to snicker into his curls. Eddie hadn’t realized until then that the other man’s normally styled hair was free of product today and was instead an array of soft curls. His own fingers itched to comb through them. 

“Ah, but with a harness and leash, you can! Here I’ll show you.” Buck grabbed his phone from his pocket, careful not to let go of Christopher and swiped through his photo album. He turned the screen around to show them. “See! You CAN walk a cat.”

The photo showed a familiar tall blond man, head thrown back mid-laugh, dressed in workout gear, holding a bright, neon pink leash and walking the chubbiest orange cat Eddie had ever seen in his life.

“You walk your sister’s cat for her?” Was there anything this guy didn’t do? Buck probably helped little old ladies across the street and with their groceries too.

Buck admitted like it wasn’t a big deal, “Yeah, of course, Snuffles doesn’t really like walking outside for Maddie, but she’s willing to let me take her out on short trips.”

Eddie shook his head. So of course the guy wasn’t just good with his kid but also small animals, and he wasn’t afraid to be seen with bright pink accessories and had an ass Eddie just wanted to destroy. He felt his resolve to not hit on his son’s sitter melt somewhat. The sleeveless tank in the picture was somewhat responsible. 

-0-0-0-

“Man you’re really all about your kid’s nanny, huh?” Chimney teased.

“What?” Eddie fought the blush that rushed to his cheeks, glad for the stubble he hadn’t had a chance to shave before coming in from the zoo. 

“Come on, Chim, Buck is awesome.” Hen defended. “He helped Denny setup a date night for Karen and me, and it was the sweetest Mother’s Day gift ever.”

“Yeah, ok. I’m just saying that we’ve been hearing a lot of Buck stories from Diaz over here. I don’t think I heard a third as much about Carla and you’ve been working with her for years.”

Eddie blushed, his ears turned red and his cheeks were warm. He hadn’t realized he’d been talking so much about the blond. 

He tried to shrug it off and act like he wasn’t a twelve-year old with a crush but struggled to find a way to throw his crew off the scent. 

“Well what do you expect to hear about when we’re all on a twenty-four hour shift together?”

Chimney scowled, looking unimpressed. “Not that Buck makes the best cupcakes, because I have zero proof for myself and am now craving cupcakes.”

Hen rolled her eyes at her partner. “I’m sure you could finagle Bobby into making us some cupcakes, Chim.”

Chimney’s eyes lit up with the idea and without saying anything more he vaulted off the couch to go swindle their captain into baking. 

Eddie let out a breath in relief but Hen gave him a narrow eyed look.

“Don’t think I’m going to let you give us the slip next time, Eddie.”

Eddie gulped. 

-0-0-0-

“So I know how I got roped into the carnival, but how’d you already get wrangled into going?” 

Eddie, as a probie, was automatically assigned to the Firefighting booth the 118 would setup for community outreach. Most of Eddie’s crew had signed up for shifts Sunday, though Bobby had taken a Saturday shift so he could go to Mass. 

Eddie had planned on asking Buck to watch Christopher during his morning shift, and then have Buck drop Chris off at his booth when his shift was over. 

Buck rubbed at the back of his neck. One of the few tells Eddie had picked up about the sitter when he was embarrassed. “I volunteered to help Athena at the YARN both this afternoon, we’re setting up a table for the fair for community outreach too. She thinks it’ll be a good way to spread the word to kids that might not have heard about the services we can provide. I have an afternoon shift-– but I figured I could bring Chris to the fair in the morning and we’d just hang out until you finished your shift with the 118’s booth?”

It dovetailed nicely with Eddie’s own plans. “That should work man, thanks!”

“Anytime.” Buck said.

-0-0-0-

“So where are your boys at, Eddie?” Chimney asked, throwing an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. They’d finished setting up and Chimney had been bouncing off the walls after one too many coffees from the food truck being run by a couple of attractive ladies.

Eddie shrugged off Chim’s arm and moved to refill the goodie bags they’d put together for their own booth. “They’re going around the fair right now. Buck said he’d bring Chris here when my shift was over so he could go help out with his volunteer group’s table.”

“He’s working a shift with the kid’s group Athena heads, right?” Hen asked, waving to a family walking by their booth.

Eddie handed the two kids from the family goodie bags, waving to the parents as the kids ran back to them. “Yeah, Y.A.R.N. has a table over by the funnel cakes, I guess.”

“Yarn? Like old ladies knitting?” Chimney crowed, replacing the bags on the table with some from the box under their display. “First he’s a guy that babysits and now he’s knitting?”

Hen rolled her eyes at him. “No, dofus. Youth At Risk Now, Bobby’s talked about them before – Athena’s on the board. They do pretty good work, and from what she’s said Buck’s been put in a lot of hours with them.”

Chimney scoffed, folding his arms over his chest and sent Eddie a disbelieving look. “So your Mary Poppins not only cooks, cleans and is a good little housewife – now you’re telling me he also helps at risk kids in his spare time? Are you kidding me, where’d you find this guy?”

Hen punched him in the arm. “Don’t be an ass. Karen said that Buck’s been volunteering with them for as long as we’ve known him. He really loves helping kids, Chimney, not something that a local community servant should be mocking.” She said pointedly.

“Yeah, man, he’s a good person.” Eddie added.

Chimney threw his hands out in surrender. “Ok, ok. I didn’t mean to offend the Babysitter Buck Defense Squad.”

“You know this guy could probably hammer you into the ground, Chimney – and what’s wrong about a male babysitting? Are you saying that only women should watch over children?” Hen grilled her friend. Eddie sent Chimney a smug look, knowing he’d be on the hooks with Hen for at least a couple hours. Chimney cringed, trying too late to remove his foot from his mouth.

-0-

“DAD!”

Eddie looked up to see Christopher perched on Buck’s shoulders, waving haphazardly at him, both smiling a mile wide. He found himself giving them a fond, happy look automatically, calling out a greeting in return.

A sharp elbow in his gut had him turning and looking at Chimney with a frown. “What the hell man?”

“Are you freaking kidding me?!” Chimney asked incredulously

Eddie’s brow creased. “What are you talking about now?”

Chimney threw a hand out at the approaching duo and gestured at the blond. “THAT is BUCK?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah.” He quirked an eyebrow. “You’re the one that suggested I hire him, why are you so surprised to see him? I told you he would be dropping Chris off.”

“I’ve never met your giant GQ babysitter before – geez now I get why you’ve been sharing so many manny stories about him.” Eddie felt confused and annoyed, even more so when Chim continued. “Not bad, Diaz, not bad.”

“Whatever, man.” With a roll of his eyes, Eddie left their booth to walk over and meet Chris and Buck before they made it to the 118’s table and Chimney’s oddball commentary. 

Within a few feet his spirits were already lifting.

“Hey mijo, were you good for Buck today?”

Buck swung Christopher down so he could move toward his dad, a move that still impressed Eddie. Chris moved the short distance between him and Buck to give him a tight hug in greeting. Eddie’s chest felt light as Chris cuddled close to him, squeezing him tightly as his excitement bubbled over. 

“YES! We won soooo many prizes, daddy! Bucky made a joke about marbles that was really funny and he even got me cotton candy because I was so good today!”

Eddie reached down to run his hand over Christopher’s curls, cupping his cheek in the palm of his hand, constantly amazed at how positive Christopher always was about everything. It gave him hope, and he knew that he would do anything to keep his son smiling. “Good, I’m happy you had a fun time, buddy.” Eddie belatedly turned to look at Buck, a smirk jerking his mouth up as he teased the blond. “Cotton candy, huh?”

Buck shrugged his shoulders, the powder blue ‘YARN’ tee had was wearing struggled to allow the gesture and Eddie appreciated the view. “I tried to talk him into a candy apple instead but he was very convincing.” 

Christopher burst into giggles, cuddling closer to his dad. Eddie smiled fondly at them, shaking his head, well aware of how difficult it was to say ‘no’ to his son. “Well as long as you guys had fun, I think a little cotton candy is a low price to pay.”

“Mine was blue!”

“Is that so, huh? Blue?”

Buck explained, “We stopped by the YARN booth earlier and Athena let Chris be a taste tester to make sure the cotton candy was up to a kid’s palette.” 

Eddie chuckled at the excuse. “Uhuh, I’m sure that was her primary concern.”

“So you must be the Buck I’ve been hearing so much about.” Chimney called out. Eddie flushed, realizing that he’d been so caught up with Buck and his son that he’d failed to introduce the two men.

“Oh, right, uh Buck this is Chimney, we work together at the 118. Chimney, this is Buck - -”

“Buck, the babysitter extraordinaire!”

Buck paused, not sure if Chimney was joking or trying to start something, he looked to Eddie for clues of how he wanted him to respond but Eddie was wincing from Chimney’s comment but when he noticed Buck looking towards him he gave him a desperate, pleading look so Buck swallowed his annoyance with Chimney.

“That’s right.” Buck put out a hand to shake and Chimney reached out to return the gesture. “You must be Hen’s infamous Chimney – she’s mentioned you before when I watched Denny and Nia. Eddie’s, of course, mentioned you too.”

“Of course,” Chimney agreed. “So how’d you get into babysitting, Buck?”

“Wow, wish he had more time to answer that fascinating question but Buck has his own shift to get to, right Buck?”

Buck shot Eddie a knowing look. “Right.” 

Before he left though, Buck knelt down on one knee and spoke to Chris. “Hey thanks for a fun morning, superman.”

“You don’t want to stay with me and daddy?”

“I promised to show up and help Athena with our booth today. I can’t back out on a promise, right?”

Chris pouted and shook his head. “No, promises are important.” 

“Exactly! So I’ll see you on Tuesday, try and get your dad to help you with that book on saltwater fish, for our trip to the aquarium, ok?”

“Ok, Buck!”

“The aquarium?” Eddie asked.

Buck took a step closer, so he could whisper without being overheard by little ears. “We’re taking pictures of the fish for Chris’s science project for his class in the fall.”

“Oh.” Eddie hadn’t realized that Buck had started to work with Christopher to get his over the summer assignments completed. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course!” Buck grinned, eyes shining. “I’ll see you guys on Tuesday. Bye Chris, Eddie! It was nice to finally be able to put a face to the name, Chimney!” Buck waved and turned to jog into the crowd, headed presumably where his booth was located.

Chimney came to stand next to Eddie, leaning slightly toward him when he spoke. “Seriously man, did you find a magic lamp or pull a thorn from a lion’s paw – what’s the deal?”

Eddie rolled his eyes and elbowed Chimney, ignoring that he’d often wondered himself how he’d lucked out with having Buck in his life.

-0-0-0-

“And then we went to the pier and had fun at the carnival! I won a water gun shooting game and Buck made a joke about winning marbles! It was so funny, mommy. I laughed really hard. We even got some cotton candy – it turned my tongue purple! Because it was blue cotton candy and my tongue is pink. At least when I’m not eating blue cotton candy it is!”

“That’s great, baby, I’m happy you had such a wonderful time.” Shannon tried to be happy her son was having an enjoyable summer, and that Eddie had managed to find someone to watch Chris. That Buck was so much fun to be around but as his mother is stung somewhat.

She wanted to be the person that got to spend time with Christopher and took him to carnivals. Instead she was stuck away from home, hoping that after this summer of hell she’d be able to work more flexibly and have a schedule that DID let her take Chris on adventures. Not just hear about how great the manny was for thirty-minutes.

“I’m sure when I come up for next weekend we can do something super fun too, like go to the zoo and see the fish!”

“I just saw the fish with Buck!”

Shannon scowled. Of course he did. “Well, I’m sure we can come up with something else to do, maybe go see that movie you were really excited about?”

“Yeah!”

Shannon smiled. “It’s a plan then. I love you, Christopher.”

“Love you, mommy!”

-0-0-0-

“You’re sure you’ll be ok without me this weekend?” Buck asked again. 

Eddie shook his head at the blond, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he folded a jacket into his bag in case Christopher got cold. 

“Buck, I think it’s great you have a chance to volunteer for the sleep away camp. Besides Christopher and I can survive a family reunion in Texas. Trust me, you’re lucky to not be involved with the entire Diaz clan.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Buck took a seat on the edge of Eddie’s bed as the other man packed his and Christopher’s bag. “I don’t know, it sounds nice to have that much extended family. It’s just been me and Maddie, so we’ve never done the whole family reunion type of event.”

A shot of guilt ran through Eddie, he’d gotten so used to Buck being around that he’d forgotten the other man just had his sister to call family. The blond had slotted into place so easily with Eddie’s life that it felt like Buck was a part of Eddie’s family. It was a sharp reminder that even though Christopher had started to call Buck “My Bucky”, the sitter wasn’t actually a member of their family. Even if Eddie felt differently.

“Are you sure you two will be ok?”

“Yes, we’ll be fine. The only thing we have to worry about is being overfed and Christopher’s cheeks being pinched too much. Besides, didn’t you say your trip is a pet project of the lady running the program you want to get into?”

Buck was stunned that Eddie remembered, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide before he could collect himself, it was just that Buck had been told by more than a few people to shut up or stop rambling, that Eddie had not only listened to Buck talk about YARN but also retained the information felt like a big step. He wasn’t quite sure where that step was taking them but it felt nice, really good, it made Buck’s heart flutter. He blinked a few times, collecting himself before nodding. “Well yeah, it’ll be a great experience and Athena will appreciate the help, plus the kids are really looking forward to it but Eddie you know that you and Christopher come before that, right?”

Now Eddie felt as stunned as Buck had looked, like all the blood in his body had rushed to his lungs or his heart or his face, he wasn’t able to place the overwhelming fluttering feeling in his chest. 

As Christopher’s father, Chris was always Eddie’s top priority but it meant everything that Buck also considered Chris’s well being over his own career. Despite his crew’s comments, Eddie tried not to compare Shannon and Buck, but when the blond so easily admitted that he considered Chris AND Eddie to be a higher priority in his life than an event that could elevate his long term career goal -- Eddie felt it was impossible not to compare that to Shannon’s own career over family priorities.

Eddied folded a few more items into his bag, scrambling to cover how overwhelmed he was by the other man. When he finally managed to collect himself he reassured Buck that this plans would be just fine.

“Well in this instance you won’t have to chose, Buck, we’ll be gone this weekend for the annual Diaz Family Reunion, and you’ll be roasting s’mores with underprivileged kids and singing campfire songs.”

Buck wasn’t as thrilled as Eddie had expected, given that he was being let off the hook for the Diaz family reunion – Eddie would give just about anything to get out of it himself but after he’d missed last year due to an arsonist, Eddie’s mother had refused to let him skip another year. Shannon had always dreaded his family reunions, so he’d incorrectly assumed that Buck would also be glad to not be dragged down to Texas for the event. Though maybe if all you had was one sister, it’d be nice to be dragged around and stuffed with food from all of Eddie’s cousins and other relatives.

“Bobby offered to give me a ride up, since he’s volunteering this year as well.”

Eddie nodded at him. “Bobby’s been pretty excited about it too, though maybe not to the same level as you’ve been.” He teased the blond.

Through some twist of fate, Eddie’s captain and Buck had hit it off right away. Chimney and Hen claim they bonded over cooking, and since then Buck was sending Bobby almost as many texts as Eddie during shift. If his captain wasn’t happily married to Athena, Eddie would be jealous at how well the two clicked, despite the father-son vibe they shared. As it was, he was still a bit green-eyed over how well they got along.

“Stars, Eddie! Christopher has been reading about stars for his paper in earth science class, and the camp is gonna be out far enough from the city that we’ll actually have a decent view of them for once!”

The amazement he felt over the younger man’s enthusiasm for life left Eddie a little dizzy. Eddie’s heart swelled with affection for him, leaving him a little tongue tied.

“Well it’ll be pretty clear skies where we are for the reunion too; maybe . . . maybe we’ll be checking out the constellations at the same time.”

Buck turned brick red. He licked his lips and wiped his palms against his jeans, mouth gaping open just a bit. He stuttered a bit as he replied, “Oh uh, yeah. Maybe, maybe we will. I should go check on superman, make sure he’s only picking one toy to bring with him.”

Eddie grunted in agreement, lips twisting up in amusement at his son’s tricks, he had a feeling there would be at least three toys Christopher would be able to talk Buck into letting him pack. The work of folding the rest of his and Christopher’s clothes into his suitcase was engrained from years in the army; it left Eddie with enough mental power to be curious about Buck’s reaction over his comment about them staring at the same stars. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with a crush? 

-0-0-0-

When they’d gotten back from Texas, Buck had surprised them the following day with a trip to the beach. Chris had been thrilled with a surprise trip planned by his Buck, though Eddie wasn’t clear if his son was more excited about the beach or getting an extra, unplanned day to hang out with the sitter.

Normally not one for surprises, Eddie liked to plan and research, Eddie had been pleasantly shocked to get back from the ice cream vendor with cones for everyone and realize that he couldn’t recall having so much fun in months. Christopher had needed to go bob in the ocean for a bit to clean all the melted ice cream from himself, and Buck had gone down with him, keeping a close eye on Chris.

They’d whiled away most of the day just enjoying the good weather and location, Eddie hadn’t realized that the sun was already passed its zenith.

Buck trudged back from the ocean with another bucket of water for Chris’ sandcastle.

With a try at subtly, Eddie glanced up from the turret he was trying to sculpt and watched as the Blonde covered the distance between their blanket and the water in staggeringly long strides. The swimsuit made Buck’s already long legs seem to go on forever, corded muscle and light blond hair on display that made Eddie glad he was crouched in the sand already.

As Buck got closer, Eddie couldn’t hold back his laughter at the blond. “Might want to take another dip in the ocean, Buck, you still have sand all over yourself.”

Buck faked laughed and shoved at Eddie’s shoulder with his knee as he passed, gently setting the bucket down for Chris to tip over the sand and start packing another bucket to form a wall with. 

“Yeah well if you two hadn’t ganged up on me and buried me in the sand, I wouldn’t still be covered in it despite going into the water three times to wash off.”

The chuckle got caught in Eddie’s throat at the reminder. 

Watching Buck, glistening and dripping water as he walked back toward them had been a major distraction and Eddie had never been so thankful for the huge ugly swim trunks Chimney had given him in last year’s Secret Santa, as he had been during those three trips. 

“You loved it.” Eddie said, taking a swing of water to hide his smirk and to cover up the faint blush he could feel filling his cheeks. 

Buck shrugged good naturedly, he had loved spending the day with them at the beach, even if he wasn’t looking forward to washing sand out of his butt when he got home. “Well I loved spending time with you both, even if you did double team me.”

Eddie choked at the implication. 

Buck looked over at him, having not picking up on the innuendo. “Hey are you ok? When was the last time you reapplied your sun block, your face is looking red?”

Eddie waved him off. “Unlike you, my albino friend, I don’t burn to a crisp at the slightest hint of a sunbeam.”

Buck snorted, loudly. “I seem to recall a Swedish half of your DNA that would make that statement false, Eds. Come on, just let me put a little on your face, you know Chimney will never let you live it down if you get sunburned from a day at the beach.”

Swallowing roughly, Eddie agreed, if only to stop Buck from saying anything worse than being “double teamed” or asking to “put a little on Eddie’s face”. 

“Sure, fine.” 

Buck flashed him a grin before reaching for the tube of sun block and squeezing some of the lotion onto his fingers. Biting his bottom lip in concentration, Buck leaned in so close that Eddie could feel his breath against his cheek; Eddie held his breath as Buck slowly spread the lotion across his cheekbones and over the bridge of his nose. He let his breath out in a slow controlled exhale through his nose as Buck curled his fingers toward his palm and rested his knuckles against Eddie’s cheek, swiping the excess lotion more fully into Eddie’s skin with his thumb. 

“There we go, let me know if you need more anywhere else, ok?” Buck asked.

Eddie just bobbed his head up and down in response, sure that if he tried to speak at this moment his voice would crack like a teenager’s and he would combust on the spot. That was the most intimate exchange he’d had since him and Shannon had stopped sleeping together. It was going to be a minute before his brain could reboot and allow for human speech.

Buck settled down next to him in the sand, idly packing another bucket for Chris to form a tower with for his sandcastle. They’d formed the moat, several towers and an expansive amount of walls before Christopher began sorting the seaweed, shells and sticks they’d gathered to decorate the castle.

Both men leaned back to fondly watch him work, dedicating a painstaking amount of effort to getting the seashells to line up just right.

“I have a friend that could help us with Chris’ interest in surfing, if you and Shannon sign off on it.” Buck offered idly as he unwound bits of seaweed for the drawbridge Chris had insisted their castle would need. 

Using anything to keep his hands busy and to stop from checking out Eddie’s abs, again; it felt like he’d spent the entire day fighting the urge to stare at Eddie’s shirtless chest. There wasn’t a lot of opportunity though to ogle the clearly defined muscles, dusted with just the right amount of body hair that Buck wanted to trace Eddie’s abs with his tongue and fingers. By the time Buck showed up in the morning for his shifts, Eddie was almost always dressed for the day. The beach trip had the added bonus of miles and miles of uncovered skin on display.

As the day had progressed the heat meant that Buck had a hard time looking at anything other than the wide spread of Eddie’s shoulders and trace the sweat that dripped down his well-defined muscles. 

Buck had already made four trips down to the ocean to cool off, using the excuses of fetching water for sandcastle and washing off stray ice cream. He’s pretty sure Eddie had started to catch on though because instead of lying stretched out on his towel, after Buck had returned with the first bucket of water for the castle, Eddie was scrunched up, hunched over himself so that his abs were almost completely hidden and working on creating a wall for the sandcastle.

He tried to distract himself with the news about his friend’s offer for surf lessons for Christopher. Normally the charge for them would be outrageous but Buck had met Kelli at Kevin’s bar and stopped a creep from dropping a roofie into her drink. She’d insisted on giving him surf lessons, and from there they’d hit it off. When Buck had called to ask her who she knew that could help with Chris, she’d demanded that he be brought for lessons with her, no charge.

“Whoa, really? Are you sure? I haven’t been able to find anyone able to . . .” Eddie trailed off, not sure how to explain that once he’d told the instructors about Chris’s CP they’d bailed on him. When Chris had added surfing to his Summer Bucket List, Eddie had been a little overwhelmed with how to make it happen. Surfing wasn’t something Eddie had learned when he’d been a kid in Texas, and he’d never had the time to pursue that once they’d moved to California and he’d been in the Fire Academy and then the 118. 

He hadn’t been able to find lessons where the teacher would know how to handle Chris’ mobility issues. Everywhere he called had no openings or had no instructors that could handle Chris. 

He hadn’t even considered that Buck would have found a way to make it happen. 

Unaware of how touched Eddie was by the gesture, Buck just shrugged it off.

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem. Kelli was really big on the circuit but retired after an accident. Now she mostly gives lessons and surfs for the fun of it. She’s who taught me when I moved out here but her sister has CP too, so she’s familiar with how to teach kids with mobility challenges.”

“Dios mio sounds perfect, Buck, thank you! You’re amazing.”

Buck’s cheeks lightly pinked and he ducked his head down. 

“Wow, you know how to surf, Buck?” Christopher asked in an amazed tone, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. 

At this point, Eddie hadn’t thought Chris’s hero worship of Buck could get bigger but he could relate. Every time he couldn’t imagine how lucky they were to have Buck as a sitter, the guy went out and completely blew Eddie’s expectations out of the water.

By the time they’d packed up and called it a day, Chris was still excitedly peppering Buck with questions about surfing and when he could start lessons and whether he could get a red surfboard and when Buck would take him surfing once he learned how.

When Eddie pulled into the driveway, he looked into the rearview mirror to see both blonds passed out, heads curled together and completely dead to the world. Eddie took his phone out and snapped a picture of the two.

-0-0-0-

“So you spent your day off . . . with the kid you watch and his dad?”

“Yeah, I took them to the beach. That’s not really work, Maddie.” Buck shrugged, dropping the vegetables he’d chopped into the wok and stirring them.

“It’s not really time away from work either, Evan.” Maddie pointed out, sipping her wine as she watched her younger brother put together their dinner. 

“I had a good time, why are you harping about this?”

Maddie let out a sigh but didn’t relent. “You just seem to be spending an awful lot of time with them.” She shrugged her shoulders at Evan’s disbelieving look.

“Well I needed to work, and now that I am you don’t want me to work?” Buck frowned, prodding at the veggies. 

“Buck, you literally just said you were not being paid to spend the day with them and you went anyway, that’s not working. You just admitted it’s not work!”

“Exactly! Besides, I love spending time with Chris.”

“Ugh. You’re impossible.”

Buck sent her an annoyed look at concentrated on cooking. When he moved the food to plates and set aside the dishes for after dinner, Maddie tried again. “So the fact that you like his dad had no part in you wanting to go with them to the beach.” 

Buck just shrugged, setting the plates down at the table. 

“Well yeah, Eddie is pretty cool too.” Buck agreed. 

Knowing she was right, Maddie smirked around her forkful of stir fry.

“Besides, we’re friends. Why wouldn’t I invite them to the beach to hang out?”

Maddie sighed, how could her little brother be so smart and yet completely miss that he had a crush on his boss?

“Well have you made any progress with finding a new apartment?”

“Why, are you tired of spending time with your brother?” He joked, reaching for a sip of his drink.

“Evan, I love you, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but I’d like to have my couch back.”

Buck sighed, losing the levity he’d been showing. “I’m working it, I have a couple leads about some places. Eddie’s off next Thursday, so I’ll go check them out then.”

“Good, I was worried after your roommates bailed that you were going to permanently move in with Snuffles and me.” She tried to recapture the mood from earlier. “My cat already loves you more than me Buck, if you stay much longer, she’ll never let you leave.”

Buck looked down at the orange blob of fur, curled around his ankles and purring up a storm. “You may have a point.”

-0-0-0-

When he showed up for his next shift, Buck held a pet carrier aloft, grinning down at Christopher like he had a secret.

“So do you think you’d like to take Snuffles for a walk?”

“YES! That sounds cool; I’ve never walked a cat before, Buck!” Christopher cheered. 

-0-

“So I hear you’re to blame for Christopher wanting a cat of his own now?”

“In my defense, I had no idea that he would have such a fun time walking Snuffles.” Buck said, biting his lip and sending Eddie a wide-eyed innocent look.

Eddie didn’t have the heart to mention his cat allergy. 

-0-0-0-

“So how excited are you to see your mom this weekend?”

Chris bobbed his head with an uncharacteristic half-heartedness, Buck frowned softly, suddenly unsure of how to move forward. He wanted to be careful, knowing that her absence is what brought him into the Diaz family’s lives and to keep in mind that he’d only known them for a very short time; he didn’t want to trample on a sore spot but he couldn’t leave Christopher in a miserable mood if he could help it.

“Why so down in the dumps?”

Chris shrugged, noncommittally. Time to try a different tactic.

“You know we can try building a kite to fly next week, if you want.”

He perked up, smiling widely. “Promise, Buck?”

Buck smiled back warmly, “Of course, superman!”

“Thanks, Bucky!”

-0-0-0-

“I thought you were really excited about seeing this movie?” Shannon asked, confused. During the school year, the movie was all he’d talk about for days. 

More than one meal was spent talking about how excited he was to see his favorite character save the day again. In the handful of cards he’d sent her this summer, what hadn’t been about his grand Buck adventures, detailed how excited he’d was to see the film when it came out.

Shannon had promised to take him when they’d seen the trailer last year and even made sure to drive back on her rare weekend off to keep that promise, since the zoo, carnival and aquarium had already been crossed off Christopher’s Summer Bucket List.

Only now Christopher seemed unconcerned with seeing the movie. 

It wouldn’t be the first time he’d lost interest in something, seemingly becoming obsessed with a new topic overnight but after barely seeing him this summer it felt like an especially brutal gut punch to Shannon. It resonated particularly because she’d been unable to sway her work schedule to spend as much time as she wanted with her little boy already that summer. 

Not wanting to throw in the towel, she tried to appease his lack of interest in their original plan. 

“We can see a different movie, if you’d like?”

Chris shrugged. “No, I wanna see this one.”

Shannon’s brow furrowed. “Why so glum then, baby doll?”

“Today I was supposed to go fly kites we built with Buck in the park.”

Shannon hid the pinch of annoyance and not a little bit of deep seated jealousy hearing about her son’s babysitter brought her, especially when in response to her son wanting to spend time with him over her. She knew Chris didn’t mean it as a cruel jab at her, that he had just meant that he’d had his heart set on the activity but it was a poor balm to her already ragged soul. 

“Well, we could go to the park instead of a movie? Maybe find a kite along the way?”

Chris shook his head. “No, when daddy explained where I was going, Bucky said … Bucky said he’d take me next week when you’re gone again.”

Shannon felt like she’d been gutted. 

She turned her head to the side and dabbed at her eyes discreetly, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile back on her face before she looked back at her son.

“Well what sort of snack would you like from the concession stand?”

Chris seemed to be a lot more interested in the movie trip after she started that line of questioning. 

“Popcorn!”

Shannon chuckled, some of her apprehension waning. “I think I can manage that.”

-0-

Tentatively knocking on the door of Chris’s bedroom before opening it, Shannon leaned against the doorframe, watching as he looked up from the picture he was drawing and seemed to shrink in on himself when he saw it was her.

“Chris, honey, I’m so sorry.” She flew to his side and wrapped him in a hug. “If there has been any other way, I would have done that, sweetie.”

“It’s ok.” His meek acceptance was worse than any tantrum. 

She felt horrible that they’d had to leave the movie early because of a work call, but the same co-worker that has given her the nanny service recommendation had called in a family medical emergency at the very last minute, leaving Shannon as the only other employee who was familiar enough with the clients to fill in on a conference call that afternoon.

As soon as she’d been able to get through her clients’ call, she’d stopped to dismiss Buck for the rest of the evening, before stopping in to check on Chris. The sitter had reluctantly agreed to head home once he’d confirmed that she was done working for the day but not before letting her know it’d be fine if she needed to call him back in.

Staring at her despondent kid, Shannon was struck with how unprepared she constantly felt when dealing with the bumps in the road that came with raising a kid. It felt like she was constantly behind the curve with how to deal with each new issue and problem that cropped up for him.

“We can go back to the movies tomorrow and finish it. That way we know how it ends.” 

Her offer was met with a halfhearted shrug; Christopher merely turned back to his drawing and started coloring in the scene with markers.

“Baby, talk to me. What’s wrong? Are you upset about not seeing the movie? We can go back tomorrow, Christopher.”

“That’s ok; Buck helped me write an ending for the movie since we couldn’t stay for the whole thing.”

Shannon felt like all the air had been let out of her balloon. Why hadn’t she thought to do that for her son? 

When she’d called Eddie for Buck’s number so she could call him in to help manage Chris during her conference call, her ex had been pissed. She tried to explain that she wasn’t sure how long the call would take and didn’t want to neglect Chris if he needed something but also couldn’t have him barraging in on her client call; but Eddie of course wouldn’t hear her out. 

He’d been beyond annoyed that she “couldn’t even make the time for one day with Chris”, and he refused to understand that her boss’s boss’s boss was the one calling the shots for the conference call and wouldn’t care that she’d moved heaven and earth to get these two days off to spend with her son.

Besides nanny hadn’t seemed upset about his off day getting cancelled, if anything he showed up twenty minutes later with a stack of board games and peppy attitude.

-0-

Shannon hadn’t realized how bubbly Buck’s personality was, but she was amazed that Chris went from sullen and sad over having to walk out of the movie, to happy and gleeful within moments of the sitter’s arrival. 

“Bucky!”

“Hey, Superman!” Buck folded down from his mountainous height to go down on one knee and hug Christopher, careful not to knock his crutches or overbalance him. 

Despite herself, Shannon was impressed; some of their family still struggled to naturally take into account Chris’ CP when interacting with him physically. Buck hadn’t even hesitated to hug the small boy, maneuvering around his crutches with a practiced ease. 

He stood back up and held out a hand for Shannon to shake. 

“You must be Shannon, Chris’s mother! It’s great to finally put a face to the name.”

Shannon tried to not notice that he hadn’t called her Eddie’s wife, or Eddie’s ex-wife or the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous. The bite of guilt and annoyance from the sitter’s “finally” did help soften any lust his looks inspired though, didn’t Eddie have any photos of their entire family around the house?

Teeth grinding together in a show of restraint, she tried to remind herself that the babysitter was doing her a solid by showing up on short notice and on his day off. She put on a fake smile and shook his hand.

“And to finally met the infamous Buck I’ve been hearing so much about!”

He laughed, taking his hand back to rub at the back of his neck, head ducked slightly in embarrassment. “Only good things, I hope.”

He turned back to Chris before she could respond and asked, “You ready to duke it out for bragging rights that come from participating in the Buckley Board Game Championships?”

Shannon fought back a genuine smile as Chris cheered and the two blonds headed toward the family room, Buck sending her a smile and a wave over Chris’s head. 

At the time she’d been thrilled that her problem had a direct solution, even if her ex-husband wasn’t happy about it.

“Jesus, Eddie, what’d you do, rub a magic lamp?” She muttered, shaking her head as she went into the guest room, trying to get back into a work-related headspace and get her mind off of Christopher’s hot manny. 

-0-

Shannon hadn’t expected the nanny to help Christopher to recover from his bad mood by having them come up with an ending for the movie. She struggled to think of a way to make up for cutting their adventure short; she was already tight on time since tomorrow afternoon she’d have to leave for drive back. Maybe she could pack a picnic for just the two of them, like when Christopher was little? 

-0-0-0-

“Hey, I have a huge favor to ask.”

Eddie gave Buck a skeptical look, worry niggling at him over what Buck would consider asking him for, though after he’d helped save them from the semi-disaster that was Shannon’s visit, Eddie didn’t think there was much he’d deny the guy. They’d become pretty friendly almost immediately out of the gate, Eddie didn’t think it was an overestimation on his part to admit that he got along with Buck the best he’d ever gotten along with anyone, his (now ex-) wife included, so it felt a bit like the other shoe was finally about to drop when he asked what sort of favor Buck needed.

“What’s up, Buck?”

The blond seemed to wriggle in place, wringing his hands together and distractingly biting at his plush bottom lip. “Maddie’s going on a long all Girls Weekend with some of her friends from work and asked that I watch Snuffles.”

“Ok?” Eddie dragged out the word, still not sure how this related to a huge favor.

Buck nibbled his lip again, bringing both his hands up, clasped together and cocking his head to the side at a slight angle as he made his request. 

“Well would it be ok if I brought Snuffs over— just for this weekend? She hates being alone, and last time I watched her when my sister went out of town I just crashed at Maddie’s place. Which normally would work but I’ll be covering your 24-hr shift and I’m looking at a couple apartments on Thursday, and I know Chris has really wanted to hang out with her. . .” 

Buck didn’t want to admit that he’d miss seeing Eddie and Chris if he was sleeping at his sister’s the other night Maddie would be gone after he looked at apartments but Eddie would be crashing from his own shift. 

Thankfully it seemed that Eddie was more amused than annoyed by the request. 

“So you want to bring you sister’s cat over for an extended play date? That should be fine, is that what the huge favor was?”

Buck blinked, eyelashes fluttering. “Well, yeah.”

Eddie’s mouth twitched into a smile, it was simple exchanges like these that made him consider that he wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve someone like Buck in their lives but he was so glad it had happened. 

Considering what Eddie would allow Buck to request, letting a cat over that Chris adored for a couple days was the least he’d allow, even if he did need to take some allergy meds because of it. 

“Sure, Snuffles can come hang out. So what’s this about apartment hunting?”

“You know I’ve been crashing with Maddie, right?” 

Eddie nodded, he remembered Hen mentioning it when he was first considering bringing Buck on as a babysitter. Buck had even mentioned once how his previous roommates had basically abandoned the apartment once the spring semester ended, leading to him crashing with his sister.

“Well, Maddie’s been dropping some serious hints about wanting her couch back.”

Eddie reached out to put a hand on Buck’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. “Why don’t you move in here, with us?”

Buck gave him a disbelieving look. “Are---are you sure? I mean, man that would really help me out but I don’t want to take advantage. I’d want to pitch in for rent and stuff.”

The last thing he wanted to do was fall into another situation like when he’d been a ghost in Abby’s abandoned apartment. 

“Hey if you’re ok living with a 7-yr old and a vet, you won’t find an argument with us.” Eddie shrugged, trying to cover how nervous he was about Buck’s answer.

He needn’t have worried. 

“I can’t think of people I’d like to live with more.”

-0-0-0-

“How is it that you’ve known this guy for the entire summer and he’s already moving in with you and Christopher?”

“It’s not anything nefarious, Shannon, you don’t have to say it like that, it’s literally to take care of our son and because he needs a place. Of all people, I thought you would understand that.”

“That’s not fair, Eddie. You know I’d be there to watch Chris if I could!”  
Eddie opened his mouth to respond when Bobby called for him to help Chimney with the equipment. 

“Listen, he’s just staying over when I have longer shifts, and it’s just a guest room, Shannon.”

She scoffed. “A guest room, huh?”

He sighed. “Shannon, I don’t have time to talk right now, I’m at work.”

“Sometime today would be nice, Diaz!” Chimney shouted indigently from the ground level. 

“I gotta go, Shannon. Bye.”

“Goodbye, Eddie.”

-0-0-0-

“I cannot believe you let your nanny get a cat.”

Bobby, Hen and Eddie all groaned. Chimney had been on a tear all day, and they’d only just had lunch.

“Chimney, he doesn’t have a cat, he’s cat sitting for his sister. “

Chimney’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Oh, I’m sorry. Your baby sitter is also a cat sitter; how nice of you to let him pick up the extra work.” Chimney snorted, shaking his head. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at his crewmate. He’d thought it was pretty sweet for Buck to be so concerned about a cat being alone for a few days; though he’d never admit it. 

All shift he’d been getting increasingly adorable photos of Chris walking Snuffles, the obese cat sprawled out on the sofa next to an equally sprawled out Chris; even one with Chris, the cat and Buck’s faces all squished together and yawning. He’d been tempted to make it his background but knew if Chimney saw it he’d never hear the end of it from him. 

Bobby looked to be fighting a smile himself when he asked. “Didn’t you say you were allergic to cats?”

Eddie shrugged and held up a bottle of over the counter non-drowsy allergy meds instead of verbally responding. 

Chimney and Hen lost it and even Bobby let out a bark of laughter at his expense. 

“It’s just for a couple days.” Eddie’s weak defense fell on deaf ears, the crew too busy snickering at him to pay his excuse any heed. 

-0-0-0-

“Eddie, why do I keep getting all these pictures of Chris with a giant cat?”

Eddie winced. At one point in their marriage, Shannon had desperately wanted a cat; she and Chris had visited a friend whose cat had recently had a litter when they’d still been together back in Texas. Eddie’s allergy had been the lynchpin excuse for NOT adopting a one at the time. 

“Did you get our son a cat?” The question was asked jokingly but Eddie knew Shannon long enough that he picked up the tense, irritation lacing her tone. 

“No, it’s just visiting for a few days. Buck’s sister is out of town and he’s moving in to the guest room so it seemed silly to leave it at her apartment.”

“And you haven’t keeled over from coughing and sneezing?” Her mild annoyance was plainer this time, not as hidden.

“It’s not a big deal; Snuffles gets lonely without someone around. Chris hasn’t stopped bragging about walking the thing.”

Shannon broke out into laughter. “That beast’s name is Snuffles? The sitter is concerned that cat will get lonely? It looks like it ate a small dog; I would think it could take care of itself for a day or two.”

Eddie just blinked, taken aback by her 180 in attitude. Shannon was on the cusp of laughing and it made him think that maybe he’d read the conversation wrong up until that point. 

Maybe he’d been reading a lot of their interactions wrong.

“Well, make sure to tell Buck to send me the original of Chris trying to share his ice cream cone with the cat. Facebook doesn’t do it justice and I want to send it to my parents. I used to do the same thing with our cat, Hugo, growing up and they will just riot when they see it.”

Eddie blinked slowly, sure that he was about to get harangued about something. “Sure thing.”

“And Eddie?”

“Yeah?” He paused, sure that this was where her recriminations would start. 

“I’m happy for you.”

Was she trying to say she was happy he was suffering due to his allergies?

“Thanks, I guess? Allergy medication is a lot better these days, so it’s not such a big deal to take some for a few days.”

Shannon snorted, and he didn’t have to see her to know she was shaking her head and laughing at him. 

“Sure, Eddie, congrats on your ‘cat allergies’. Tell Chris I said ‘I love him’, and say ‘hi’ to your new roommate for me.”

-0-0-0-

“Hey superman, why so down in the dumps?”

Chris looked up at Buck, blinking woefully. “Are you gonna leave me too, Buck?”

“What? NO!” Buck sat down next to him. “What’s brought this on?”

Chris picked at the LEGO bricks in front of him, pushing a few around and not quite meeting Buck’s gaze. “It’s just that my mom keeps going on work trips and Carla has been gone on vacation for so so so long. Even daddy was gone for a long time when he was in the war. Is...is there something I’m doing wrong? Am I being a bad person? Is that why no one stays with me?”

“NO!” Buck was quick to correct him. He took a deep breath to settle his heart. “That has nothing to do with you, buddy. You’re awesome. Your dad loves you to the moon and back, what he was doing was a service to everyone in the whole country. I’m sure he really missed you though. Plus Carla’s trip will be over in a couple weeks and she’ll be back too! Plus your mommy’s work schedule is really tough right now because she’s trying to earn a really great promotion that will let her spend more time with you and less time on the road.”

Chris’ pout wavered. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise!”

Chris excitedly hooked pinkies with Buck. “Besides if Carla didn’t have a vacation then how could she send you awesome postcards in the mail?”

Chris seemed to digest this idea for a few minutes before nodding his head along. “I guess that does make sense, thanks Buck! I liked the postcard with the dog surfing!”

Buck let out a chuckle agreement. “Me too little man, me too. There’s nothing you’re doing that is keeping people away, you’re the best part of my day. You know that right?”

The seven year old reached out to wrap his arms around Buck in a hug and Buck knew he’d do anything he could for this little boy. Buck hugged him back and tried to think of an activity that would help take Chris’ mind off of his mom’s departure.

“Wanna learn how to make my sister’s famous molasses cookies?”

“Yeah yeah yeah! That’ll be so much fun! Can we make some for daddy too?”

“Of course, buddy.”

-0-0-0-

Hen was the first to notice their approach, Buck holding a Tupperware container and Chris marching along next to him with a huge grin on his face, a giant cat on a hot pink harness and leash waddling next to Christopher. 

“Hi Chris, did you and Buck bring me cookies?”

“No! Buck and me and Snuffles brought cookies for everyone!” Chris corrected her cheerfully. “We baked them for everyone Aunt Hen!” 

“Oh, I knew you were my favorite Diaz!” Hen said, taking the container from Buck. 

“Hey! Who was it that pulled you out of the way of that falling beam last week?” Eddie asked, playing hurt as he bent down to hug Chris.

Hen waited until he stood back up to look him dead in the eyes and shrug. 

“Yes, but what have you done for me lately? Because I can tell you right now, it wasn’t baking me delicious cookies and hand delivering them.”

Chimney came out of the locker room and cheered when he saw the food. He reached into the container for one but jumped back when Snuffles let out a loud ‘mrrow’. “How sh—smokes! What IS that beast?”

Chris let out a peel of laughter. “That’s just Snuffles!”

Chimney blinked a few times before turning to Buck. “I can see why you wouldn’t want that thing left unattended.” He bit into the cookie and let a blissed out moan when he tasted it. “Oh, oh wow! Just wow!”

The fire crew laughed and Chris and Buck exchanged fist pounds. 

“Sounds like our efforts were a success buddy!” Buck said.

Bobby wrestled the box from Chimney, who had already crammed a few more cookies in his mouth, and tried one. He tilted his head in surprise and gave a nod of approval to Buck. 

“These are very well done. Thank you for bringing us some, Buck.” 

The blond shrugged, but Eddie could see the pleased look on his face at the praise and the faint blush that tinted his cheeks.

Eddie looked at Bobby and could see that Buck’s gesture had touched him, Eddie couldn’t blame him. Family was a touchy subject with the cap but he often cooked for the entire station. It probably meant a lot to him that someone would return the favor. 

Chris approached Eddie and motioned him to come closer so he could whisper in his ear. And the proceeded to talk in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear what he was saying regardless. “Don’t worry, daddy, we have more at home.”

Eddie chuckled at his kid’s attempt at subtly. 

“Thanks for the treat; did you guys want a tour of the station while you’re here? Cap?” Eddie belatedly turned towards his boss for permission; Bobby gave him a stern look, eyebrow raised and look of contemplation on his face but it quickly dissolved into a smile and a nod of approval.. 

“I might need the recipe for these cookies though.”

“Oh no, you’re out of luck there, Cap! That is the Super Secret Buckley’s Family Only recipe. Karen has been begging Buck for the recipe since he made them for us two years ago!” Hen chuckled.

Christopher said, “But my Bucky showed me how to make them this afternoon!”

The crew turned to stare at Buck who blushed, flustered at the sudden onslaught of attention “So this tour is it ok if Snuffles comes along too...?”

“Oh no you don’t, Evan Buckley!” Hen menaced, approaching the blond to wrestle him into submission.

Eddie laughed at Hen and Buck, trying to cover the warm feeling that had overcome him at having proof that Buck considered Christopher to be family. He couldn’t blame him, Christopher really was special.

-0-0-0-

Kevin tossed a rag at Buck’s head. “Closing time, Buckley, it’s time to clean up, man.”

As the rag hit him square in the face he peeled it off and glared at his friend-slash-boss. “What the hell Kev?”

“Come on, you’ve been spacing out all shift. I had to handle that group of first timers all by myself!”

Buck shook his head, not buying it for a second. “You love when girls come in that just turned 21, you can charm them with all your mixology skills. And they haven’t been to enough bars to realize how full of shit you are.”

Kevin flipped him off. “Fuck you, Buckles! Just because you’ve found wedded bliss doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t still on the prowl for a good time.”

“I’m hardly married. I haven’t dated in . . .” Buck trailed off, blinking furiously as he tried to figure out the math of when he had last dated. 

“That skinny chick who changed her hair back from blonde to brunette after you mentioned having a thing for darker hair.”

Buck grimaced. 

Ali hadn’t broken up with him as much as drifted completely out of his life, it was so reminiscent of what had happened with Abby that he’d been worried he would relapse and end up backsliding with Taylor or someone just like her all over again that he’d just about sworn off dating altogether. 

He hadn’t realized how isolated he’d kept himself since the end of that relationship, focusing less on looking for a fun night and more on focusing on how to have a good life. 

His friendship with Eddie hardly qualified as being married though, but when he told Kevin as much his friend just scoffed at him from across the bar, not even having the decency to stop putting the chairs up on the tables so they could mop, as he replied. 

“Buck, if you’re not married then what do you call that little blond boy and his dad that you won’t shut the hell up about— even when it clearly is gonna cost you tips? Or worse, string-free sex?”

Buck stopped wiping the tables off and sent a hard frown toward him, mouth pursing as he sent his pal a dirty look. “That’s called being a responsible adult, Kev. Holding down a job, or have you forgotten I’m Chris’ nanny?”

“Yeah, and when you were Denny and Nia’s nanny you still hooked up with Taylor and then Ali. So what’s your excuse now?”

Buck ignored him, moving on from wiping the tables and bar down to filling a bucket for the mop. 

He didn’t want to think about how he really hadn’t been looking for a hookup or a relationship for the better part of the year, even less so when he’d started working with the Diaz family. 

When he’d first come out to LA he’d been younger and wild, willing to try just about anything that wouldn’t lead to permanent damage. Before Abby he’d been living for one thrill after the other. He’d eventually been worried he might have a problem with sex when it cost him a job, constantly falling into it so easily with anyone that showed the slightest inclination. 

Right before he’d found Abby, he’d tried to nix that problem and he’d done well until she’d broken his heart and ghosted him. His slip back into his old ways with Taylor was a cold reminder that he needed to stay vigilant because that wasn’t a life he wanted for himself. He’d thought his connection with Ali was good only for them to end up splitting up. 

He knew Kevin had tried to wingman him a few times but the interest just hadn’t been there. Lately he’d rather finish a shift at the bar, pick up a pizza and go back to hang out with Eddie and Chris than try to put the effort into a one night stand. 

“I just don’t think that’s for me anymore, man. I already lost the internship because of the bachelorette party, and I didn’t even hook up with anyone there. I don’t want to risk what I have with Eddie and Chris.”

“Sounds pretty damn serious to me. Almost like, hmmm a marriage!” Kevin threw an arm around Buck and jostled him. 

Buck threw an elbow into Kevin’s gut and laughed. “You’re an asshole, Kev.”

“Yeah keep talking about my ass, that’ll make your boy real jealous. Maybe he’ll finally make a move and rescue you from that tall tower of seclusion, pop open that chastity belt you’ve strapped on since Ali and fuck some sense into you.” 

“You’re the absolute worst,” Buck growled, tackling his friend to the sticky floor. 

-0-0-0-

“Have you talked to Eddie about when your last shift with Christopher is yet?”

“What?!” Buck asked, chilled.

Hen rephrased. “I know that Eddie needed help because Carla and Shannon were out of the picture this summer, but they’ll both be back soon. Athena mentioned pulling some strings with that program you both work with, maybe funneling your work with them into an internship.”

The idea that his position in the organization was still possible almost distracted him from her first question about leaving Christopher. His mouth fell open and he could only blink at first, sure that he’d heard Hen wrong. “What… what do you really think she would?”

Hen gave him a look that clearly said she was questioning his intelligence.

“Buckaroo, we all know that the amount of time you’ve spent volunteering with YARN would have been considered enough for an internship last year. Athena talked with Cliffson, the head of the program, and he agreed, if she was willing to do the legwork with the college’s paperwork, they could count your work as a volunteer as an extended internship. It would fulfill the requirement for your program to cancel your fall enrollment, right?”

“That would be so amazing!” 

He was floored. Athena and he hadn’t originally taken with one another at first, slowly as he’d continued to show up to work with the kids, she’d thawed toward him but Buck hadn’t expected her to be willing to help him get the college credit for an internship. It would mean he could apply for the full time position with YARN this fall, and forgo extending his student loans another semester. He could graduate.

“So, when did you and Eddie workout when your last day nannying for them would be?”

That question gave Buck pause. 

He’d worked out a schedule for Christopher that allowed him to keep his bar shifts, except when Eddie had overnight shifts with the station, or when he would be there for a 24-hr or 48-hr stint. If Buck were able to get the credit for the internship, and with Athena spearheading the effort, he had no doubt that he would; it meant he would have less time to spend with Chris. Eventually Eddie would get tired of having him as a roommate too, and ask him to leave. He’d known it wasn’t a permanent gig, which had been half of what had drawn him in when he’d only known Eddie as a voice on the other end of a phone call; but now it felt like having to decide which hand he wanted to cut off. 

“We ah . . . we haven’t actually talked about when my last day would be, yet.”

“Oh.” Hen said, her brow crinkling up in confusion. “Well you both know this was temporary, so when did Carla tell Eddie she would be back?”

Buck blinked, trying to remember what her last postcard had said about the couple’s return date. “Next week I think. Their port arrival is Monday and Christopher wanted to do a Welcome Back party Wednesday for them. I can’t believe Athena’s willing to go to bat for me.”

She smiled at her friend, giving him a one-armed hug. “Athena recognizes that you’ve grown as a person and that you’re really dedicated to helping out kids, Buck. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that the Cap is in your corner too.”

“Yeah, I just can’t believe it’s all working out after all.”

He hoped he could make it work. 

There were a lot of programs out there for kids but Buck knew that YARN had earned its sturdy reputation for actually making a solid impact on the kids involved within it. 

That was one of the main reasons he’d joined to begin with and stuck with it, even though he hadn’t gotten along well with Athena at first. He hadn’t wanted to give up on the kids who had already had so many other people give up on them, he was all too familiar with what that was like, and what it could do to a kid. Which is why it had been such a heavy blow when he’d lost the internship with Declan Studies; it meant he’d fallen out of the running for a full-time position in the program. He’d still spent what time he could this summer volunteering but it was with the knowledge that he’d be unlikely to apply for any openings in the fall.

What Buck didn’t tell Hen was just how unsure he was that he was willing to give up the little family he’d become a part of to be eligible for the position, though Hen’s original remark had been a stark reminder that his time with the Diaz family had always been temporary. Maddie would kill him if he gave up on his career after all the work for his degree just because he didn’t want his time with Eddie and Christopher to be over.

-0-0-0-

Athena waved him into the conference meeting hall with a smile. “Buck, great to see you. I was hoping you’d make the final cut, why don’t you take a seat and we’ll start in a minute.”

He nodded to show he’d heard her, took a few deep breaths and sat in the chair across from the panel of Board Directors for YARN.

“Mr. Buckley, we’re happy you were able to come in today to interview. Now, tell us why you would be the preferred candidate for YARN’s West LA Branch?”

“Actually . . .” Buck started.

-0-0-0-

Buck retaped the “Welcome Home!” banner; distracted by the conversation he still needed to have with Eddie. 

He’d put it off, not wanting to spoil his remaining time with Christopher or his dad; despite knowing he’d have to in a few days once Carla was back on her usual schedule with the Diaz family.

“You know that’s still crooked, right?” Eddie asked baldly, a bemused expression on his face. He couldn’t contain his laughter at Buck when the man readjusted it and the banner still remained crooked. 

Buck shrugged defensively. “I think your wall might be crooked.”

Eddie shot him a look of complete disbelief. “Sure, Buck. It’s the wall.”

Buck ignored his sarcasm. “So it’ll be exciting for you guys to have Carla back home. Her last postcard said that her she was getting a little homesick, that she missed Chris’s sunshine smiles.”

Eddie smiled wanly, as he admitted “Yeah, it’ll be great to have her back again.” 

Though he wasn’t sure what that would mean for Buck, him or Christopher. When they’d started this, it was just meant to be for the summer, but that was rapidly coming to a close and even though it had been less than three months, he couldn’t imagine not having the other man in their lives every day. 

He didn’t think it was a stretch to think he wasn’t alone in being torn over the end of their summer together. Buck had been a little quieter this week, and Christopher had picked up on it as well, intuitive in the way that kids could be, Eddie had noticed his son being a little more clingy than usual: asking Buck to help him with things that he normally insisted on doing by himself, begging for more stories at bedtime, following Buck around a tad more closely when he’d leave a room. Even the influx of texts from Buck while he was at work had increased, photos of the boys out and having fun or playing around the house.

Even though they were setting up for Carla’s Welcome Home party, Eddie hadn’t wanted to consider just how much having Christopher’s usual sitter back would mean for Buck.

Buck, who insisted on sending Eddie into work with a bag of breakfast burritos, even though it forced him to defend his meal from Hen; and who packed leftovers from the previous night’s dinner for Eddie to take in for his lunch, when he had an extended shift or if Bobby was on a different shift. 

Those were meals he’d learned the hard way that he had to defend from Chimney AND Hen, as none of their crew, other than Bobby, could cook anything decent. 

Chimney was shameless in his insistence that seniority meant he had first pick of the leftovers, though Hen was almost as bad, reminding Eddie that she’d known Buck first so it was only fair that she get some leftovers too. 

They both forgot that he came from a big family; it wasn’t the first time he’d had to defend his lunch from others. 

It was nice though, having someone in the house that could and did cook. Christopher was the first to sell him out about his inability to cook, so despite Eddie trying to tell Buck he didn’t have to make meals, at least not for him, the younger man had waived him off every time, insisting he didn’t mind. 

Hen had smirked at him for weeks, as she mentioned to Eddie that Buck had only rarely made meals for the Wilson household, a Cheshire grin on her face as she mentioned it. Eddie had flushed; panicked and offered her half the lasagna Buck had sent in as incentive to not make him discuss how it made him feel. She’d gleefully accepted the lasagna and then gotten Chim to pester him for the rest of the shift in her stead.

This was the guy who helped get Chris excited about going to the library his first day, and more than quadrupled the amount of books his son had read over the summer. 

Who swooped in to help Eddie or Shannon when they’d had work call them in, with a smile on his face and nothing but absolute glee for getting to spend more time with their son. 

Hell, even when it was one of Buck’s off days he often hung out with Eddie and Chris; going to the beach or a parade or a baseball game; even Eddie hadn’t realized how often that was happening until his abuela has put together a scrapbook for Christopher’s summer events, Eddie really hadn’t grasped how many outings the three of them attended together until they were staring back up at him from the scrapbook pages. Or just how happy all three of them look. 

Buck, who with enough Spanish from his time as a bartender in South America and his dogged eager to please attitude had won over Eddie’s abuela and tia with scary ease. Any doubt that they wouldn’t get along despite the broken Spanish and ready smile, melted in the face of Buck’s open love of Christopher and the glut of stories about their adventures.

The guy who walked his sister’s fat cat, and thought it was a big favor to bring the animal over for a few days so it wouldn’t have to be alone. 

Who showed up to spend time with Christopher and actually connected with his son and worked at making all their lives easier.

All of that and it didn’t even touch on the fact that Eddie had been nursing a crush on the guy that was epically embarrassing at this point. He used to have game, once upon a time and now he just got flustered and tongue tied when he was ever alone with Buck. He was pretty sure his abuela was picking out wedding flowers the last time he’d mentioned Buck in a story to her. Even the 118 had all made leading comments about when Eddie would man up and ask Buck out. Chimney had made something of a game out of it for when Buck would bring Christopher by the station to deliver a baked goods. 

This was the guy who could just as easily sail right out of their lives altogether in a few days, now that Carla was back. 

With all that was at stake, Eddie wasn’t as eager to be welcoming her home as he had been in June. He cleared his throat and tried to add some levity that he wasn’t feeling to the conversation. 

“Christopher will be thrilled to be able to see her again, plus you two will get on like a house on fire.”

Buck jerked around to look at Eddie, his whole face lighting up. Eddie’s gut swooped at his expression. “You really think so? That ... that I’ll be around, that you’ll still want me around even when she’s back?”

Eddie gave an incredulous look, “Always, we’ll always want you around, Evan. You’re family.”

Eddie’s heart was racing. Buck’s eyelashes were fluttering and a touched smile had overtaken his face, that distracting pretty pink flush filling his cheeks that Eddie loved. 

“Thanks, Eddie.”

“Uh, yeah.” He coughed, trying to downplay his own reaction to Buck. “Oh course, man.”

He pointed back at the sign. “You’re not going to school for design or architecture, right? Because that is one sadly crooked sign.”

Buck allowed the mood to break, squabbling with Eddie over the banner’s placement. 

-0-0-0-

“So Athena mentioned that Buck starts with YARN next week,” Hen probed.

Eddie looked up from the oxygen tanks he was inspecting. “Yeah, he’s pretty stoked about it.”

Hen gave him an unimpressed look. “Well . . .?”

“Well what?”

“Have you finally gotten around to asking him out or are you going to let him slip through your fingers and do nothing?”

“He’s about to start a new chapter in his life, and yeah right now he’s saying he wants to keep in touch but—“

“Eddie if you don’t put that poor bastard out of his misery and finally ask him out, someone else will, and then you really will see him distancing himself from you.”

“Come on, I literally just told the guy he’s family.”

“Honey, the only people that are family that you should want to bang are spouses. If you’re trying to tell us that you look at your family the way you look at Buck, I’m going to be deeply concerned for the Diaz clan.”

“Buck . . . Buck is important, ok? There’s no one I would trust more with Christopher, not even my family, but what if he can’t handle us? How can I do that to Chris?”

“Eddie, you’re forgetting that Buck isn’t Shannon, how can you not at least try to give that to Christopher? Buck is a fool about a lot of things but he’s not so foolish to not recognize how lucky he is to be a part of your lives. All we can tell you is to take the chance that it might not work out because there’s also the chance that it will.”

-0-0-0-

Eddie had been right. 

Carla and Buck’s got on like a house on fire. She immediately started calling the younger man Buckaroo, demanded they get together to exchange stories and gossip over wine and spoke about the changes to Chris’s summer and how Buck has been taking excellent care of Christopher. 

Eddie wasn’t too afraid to admit he was a little terrified of the duo, though he couldn’t fault their almost instantaneous friendship. They were two of the most positive and giving people he knew, which made them excellent role models for Chris to have in his life. 

Howard, her husband had looked on fondly while Buck and Carla colluded, clearly used to her picking up new strays wherever she went. 

In the aftermath of the party Buck seemed to be happier, more carefree than he had been the past few days, some tension Eddie hadn’t initially picked up on finally letting go. 

He meant to ask Buck what had been worrying him but was distracted by Chris trying to sneak the tray of cookies into his room for a bedtime snack. 

-0-0-0-

“Hey there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

Eddie blearily looked up from his morning coffee. He’d pulled a night shift and was still trying to swing back to daylight hours. His entire body ached from the last call of the night though and it wasn’t helping his overall mood. 

“If this is another attempt for you and Chris to get that gross marshmallow cereal, I’m still against it.”

Buck rolled his eyes and slid an omelet on a plate, grabbing a fork from the drawer before sliding it over to Eddie. The older man dug in with gusto, distracting Buck momentarily as he watched. Eddie moaned around a bite and Buck was glad he’d taken care of himself in the shower that morning already.

“You’ll come around on it once you’ve had a bowl. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Slicing into the omelet, Eddie waved for Buck to keep talking. The flavors burst across his tongue and not for the first time, Eddie was thankful Buck insisted on cooking for him. 

“Ok, so what did you want to tell me? This is delicious by the way, but you know you don’t have to cook for us right?”

Buck outright laughed, eyes rolling as he scoffed. “Eddie, I’m not sure how you didn’t have scurvy. Besides, I like cooking for you, uh for both of you.” Buck bit his lip, feeling his cheeks heat he turned back toward the stove to tidy up the dishes he’d used. 

Eddie smirked but left Buck’s comment alone, well aware that he really liked that Buck wanted to take care of him too. In ways that he didn’t want to address just yet, though he had a plethora of ways he’d like to show Buck just how much he appreciated the care.

“So what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Buck turned the sink on, thrusting the dishes under the jet of water to distract from how nervous the situation was making him. 

“So I got a call about my interview with YARN. They asked for me to start next week.”

“Buck, that’s great!”

Feeling confident, Eddie asked. “Do you think you’d want to get dinner? To you know, celebrate your new job?”

The blond grinned bashfully at the suggestion. “Yeah, that sounds really good. Do you think Chris would wanna go back to that place on ninth?”

Eddie back tracked, “Oh, well I was thinking, it could just be dinner between the two of us.”

It took a minute for his meaning to become clear to Buck, who started to turn bright red but he also started fluttering his lashes and biting at his bottom lip to stop the giant smile that wanted to take over his entire face.

“Oh. OH. Yeah, that . . . that, I would really be interested in going to dinner with you, just you.”

Eddie took another bite of his breakfast, pleased and riding the ego boost that a dinner date with Buck, especially with how flustered the other man had become over it. 

“Good, it’s a date then.”

Buck agreed, “Yeah, a date.”

“Does this mean that abuela and tia will stop talking about daddy going potty in a pot or leaving the pot?” Christopher asked.

Eddie choked on his breakfast. Buck turned redder than the 118’s fire engine. 

“I mean, I love spending time with you… both of you, and I don’t want to give that up, but it’s a little fast. Are you sure you’re both ok with a more than temporary roommate?”

Eddie blinked, biting his tongue to keep from jumping on the offer too quickly. “Yeah? Yeah, I would definitely be interested in that, if you’re sure this is where you wanna be?”

Buck made a scoffing noise, maintaining direct eye contact. He could be brave, for Eddie and Chris he could be brave. “You know there’s no place I’d rather be than here. No one I’d rather be with than you two.”

Eddie reached out to tangling his fingers with Buck’s and tugging the blond over to his side, “There’s no one we want here with us more than you, Buck.”

“Yeah, you’re part of this family. Remember what daddy said?” Chris piped up, coming over to hug both of them.

Buck knew his eyes were teary. “Good, you guys are my family too.”

Eddie shared a smile over Chris’ head with Buck, excited for the adventures to come and the partner he’d get to share them with now.

-0-0-0-  
The End  
-0-0-0-


End file.
